I was at brunch the other day next to a loud group of young twenty-something women. One of them was blabbing about how, the night before, she walked out of a date after 15 minutes. She described the guy as nice, but dorky and boring. Apparently, they had zero chemistry. She picked up her purse, threw down money for the drink and walked right out of there. She was so proud telling her friends about it. It took every ounce of self-control I had not to flip the table. Well, it was my self-control and the French toast. Really didn’t want to waste the French toast! I hate when women walk out of dates like this. Of course, if the dude is gross or offensive or predatory, get the eff out of there. But just boring and dorky? Don’t leave, girl. Here’s why I hate ending a date early…
It’s not respectful
This guy blocked off his evening for you. You’re totally disrespecting his time by walking out of there without a good reason. You’re telling him that your time is more valuable than his. And guess what, sister? It isn’t. If he’s a kind man and there’s no immediate spark, staying and getting to know him for two hours is just plain respectful. Anything less than that is full on rude.
You’re not giving yourself a chance
I know we all want to walk into a first date, see Ryan Gosling and live out our happily ever after fantasy. Unless you’re Eva Mendes, that’s not going to happen. Lower your expectations! Not for your dream guy, but for the first date. You deserve your prince, ultimately. It just may take more than a few minutes for a guy to seem princely. No one is their best, truest self within the first few minutes of a high pressured first date. You’re not giving the guy a chance to prove himself to you and, more than that, you’re not giving yourself a chance to find out if he’s a fit. Leaving after 15 minutes could mean you’re missing out on husband material.
You guys know that I’m spiritual and I fully believe that you get what you put out into the Universe. Being a total jerk to a guy on a first date is not putting out anything good. So, guess what you’re going to get back? There’s probably going to be a first date dude who walks into your first date and isn’t blown away by your instant chemistry. Would you want him to turn on his heels and bolt? Of course not. So, don’t do this to other people.
If a guy is polite and not creeping you out, stay for a full two drinks. You’ll be doing the right thing by him, yourself and your karma. Or, if you do leave a date early, please don’t sit next to me at brunch, K?