Dating can be rough sometimes.
You met a really great man.
His words soothe your soul.
You love the way he talks and what he’s all about.
He’s a really good looking guy.
But you’re not feeling the attraction. You don’t feel triggered. You don’t really want to kiss him. You don’t want him touching you. You don’t want him making love to you.
There’s nothing wrong with it. But, you start debating your brain and you start thinking to yourself, how come I don’t feel this incredible attraction to this amazing man?
It happens all the time. It happens to me a lot. I can go out with somebody, look across at them and feel absolutely nothing. That actually happens with the majority of women I go out with. There’s nothing wrong with them at all. They’re beautiful, they’re great, the conversation flows, they make me laugh, but I just don’t feel that “it” factor.
I don’t feel like reaching across and grabbing them, kissing them, and touching them. I just feel like – well, you know the debate we have in our heads, Should I kiss them or should I not? – sometimes, it just doesn’t feel right, and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.
Sometimes, You’re Just Not Attracted to the Other Person
It happens all the time. It happens all over the place, all over the world. Women are going out on dates every single day, and nothing is happening. That’s perfectly okay.
So, how do you tell a man that you’re not attracted to him?
There’s a way to do it so he doesn’t feel like a loser. Bad word, but it’s the only way I can put.
You have a man who has the hots for you; he’s talking to you or coming on to you, but you’re not feeling it. You need to let him down easily. You’re going to have to tell him that you’re not attracted to him, but it’s the way you say it that will make him feel good, feel okay about it.
A lot of women do it the wrong way.
A lot of you will basically tell a man, “Hey, I’m just not attracted to you. I’m just not feeling you, but I think you’re amazing and I would love to have you in my life.” And, that’s about it.
A lot of guys who put themselves out there become vulnerable. When they hear you say those words, they start asking themselves what they did wrong.
Men like this blame themselves. They like to think there is something they could’ve done differently; maybe a way they spoke to you, or maybe they got too vulnerable, or maybe they said too many things.
A man will go into his head just as much as a woman will go into her head. That man will start to eat himself up emotionally and mentally. He’ll get upset and start closing up, and he’ll start to do things differently. But in reality, what he did was actually pretty good, it was actually really amazing the way he came on to you and the way he spoke to you, so you need to tell him that.
The Right Way to Let Him Down
You need to let him down this way:
You need to look at him, and you need to rephrase it so you keep his ego in check, because it’s a delicate situation when a man is falling for a woman and he likes her but she doesn’t like him back. You need to give him encouragement, so he goes out the very next day and feels amazing.
Most men’s skins are not thick enough to handle what they think is rejection, and it takes a lot for them to become open and vulnerable.
So, what do you do, and what do you say?
You look at him and say this:
“I’ve got to tell you, I think you’re absolutely amazing. I love the way you speak, I love what you’re all about. You’re a great looking guy. I’m just not feeling it at all. I would love to feel it. I’ve been trying to, but I just don’t feel that attraction that I need. Everything you’ve said and talked about are all the things any woman would really want to be a part of. So, I would love to be your friend and just support you, and help you find somebody absolutely amazing. Maybe we can help each other out in that way.”
That’s how you say it. By saying that, you’re telling him that he’s great. You’re telling him that he’s attractive. You’re telling him all the things he needs to hear to move on and you’re actually supporting him in that quest. What will happen is that man will absolutely remain open and vulnerable, and he won’t close off.
I’ve had women tell me they’re not attracted to me, and that’s about it. And you know what? I can handle it; I’ve got a thick skin. But, I’m always thinking about everybody else, and most other people are not as thick-skinned.
Most other people are always looking for that excuse and the reason to shut down. You don’t want to shut another person down; you want to keep that person open. And you know, when you keep somebody open, it feels really great.