First dates are anxiety producing, for sure. But I think it’s strange that a lot of women I meet are more nervous for first dates than for second dates. Second dates are much bigger steps in a relationship than first dates. I mean, I’m not saying that you should be sick to your stomach every time you get asked on a second date, but it is something you should treat like a big deal. Because it freaking is! Second dates are way more important than first dates. Here’s why.
The double check
Having a good time on a first date is a great thing. Definitely worth being excited about because it’s not a guarantee at all. So, celebrate it when you get home with a little happy dance! But, one good time together could just be because you’re buzzed off those two martinis or the stars aligned in the perfect way for one night only or he could be on his very best behavior and not actually being himself. There are a million and one ways that a good first date could be a happy fluke. The second date is your chance to double check that chemistry you felt and make sure it’s real. If it’s still there during date two, then you’re cooking with gas. The second date is your chance to double check if this match is as good as you think it is and that’s hugely important.
The BS is out of the way
I don’t know about you guys, but I kinda have a first date schtick. Like, there’s a first date Patti that always comes out on first dates. I have some cute stories about where I’m from, my career, my family and my dating history. These topics always come up on date one and I know how to answer there in a charming way that goes over well. So, sometimes I feel like I’m a little stuck on repeat and I have to imagine that my date is, too. Sometimes it feels like first dates are just repeating the same questions and lines. But, second dates are when you can get past that basic BS and really dig into the other person’s personality, and let him dig into yours! So, it’s a really important opportunity to actually get to know each other and not just each other’s first date personas.
The upcoming decision
This may sound like a small point, but the step from a second date to a third date is a big leap. It’s way bigger than the step from first to second. At three dates, you’re officially dating and things will quickly get physically intimate. So, you have an important decision to make after date two and that second date is your time to collect all of the information you need to make the leap to a third date and official “dating” status. Ask yourself the crucial questions. Do you want to seriously kiss this man? Could you envision him fitting in with your friends? Would your family approve? Obviously, you don’t need firm answers to these questions quite yet. But, if your answer to any of those questions is a firm “no,” then it seems like a third date isn’t worth either of your time. You need to figure all of this out on a second date.
I don’t want to rile you up into a nervous fervor over every second date, but I do want you to go in with the right attitude and appreciation for their importance. Hope I convinced you! Good luck on those second dates!