At brunch this weekend, one of my girlfriends was beside herself because her man hadn’t said he loved her yet. She’s normally bright and really full of life, but she was limp and sad throughout the entire brunch. I assumed that she told him that she loved him and he hadn’t said it back, even after she gave him time. And I was really sad for her. It feels so crappy when a feeling as important as love isn’t reciprocated. Then, it came out that she hadn’t even said “I love you,” yet. She was waiting for him to say it first and that’s what she was getting upset about! Why hadn’t she said those magic words? What was she waiting for? Well, she was waiting for him to say it first because she thought that’s how it’s supposed to be. She thought if the woman said “I love you” first, it kinda didn’t count. Um, no. No way! It’s totally OK for a woman to say “I love you” first. Here’s why.
You have feelings and a mouth
It’s OK for women to say “I love you” first because you’re able to. You have a heart that’s feeling in love and a mouth to express it. So, why not? Don’t discount your feelings because he hasn’t verbalized his yet. You’re a big girl and can take a risk with being emotionally vulnerable. Sure, it’s putting yourself out there. But, this is worth it. Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean that you’re any less or more able to take a stance and announce your feelings for someone you care about. And that’s coming from me, someone who believes in old school dating logic. A man likes a hunt, for sure. But, hearing “I love you” could just be what’s he’s on the hunt for! You won’t know unless you tell him.
He might be waiting
Like I said above, your man might be waiting for you to say those magic three words first. Maybe it’s because he likes the hunt. Or it could just be because he’s unsure of how you feel about him. It’s brave to say “I love you” and your man might not be that brave of a dude when it comes to spilling his emotions. That’s obviously not ideal, but it’s not all that rare when it comes to men. They’re generally raised to keep it all in and never show their true feelings. Some dudes are capable of ignoring their programming when it comes to romance, but a lot aren’t. So, you may have to be the one to trigger his expression of love with your own!
Don’t hold back on love
Look, we’re living in some pretty dark times and it’s your duty to make the world as good of a place as you can. Love is a pretty damn good thing. So, don’t hold back. Spread the love as much as you possibly can! And this might mean saying those three little words with big ramifications first, but go for it! One of those ramifications might just be making your part of the world a happier place. Completely worth it!
To my readers, I’m not afraid to say it first…I love you, all of you! And I hope this little piece encourages you all to say tell the guy you’re with that you love him.