Why it never pays to go slow in love

I’m a type A, get-er-done gal. I want everything to happen right now, if not five seconds ago. And I really do mean everything. I never take my time with anything. Love is no exception. I move quickly with matters of the heart and I think you should too. It’s a total myth that taking a new relationship slowly will yield better outcomes than rushing in. Taking your time with love really never pays off. And, actually, it backfires a lot. Here’s why.

Time is limited

You don’t have a lot of time on this planet. Grim, but true. You’ve got to make the most of it in all aspects of your life, including finding your forever partner. And if you’re a woman who wants to get pregnant, your time constraints to finding your partner are even more intense. Those are just facts. Believe me, I like them just as little as you do. So, why would you waste your time taking it slowly in a relationship? If it’s the right relationship, it doesn’t matter how quickly or slowly you move, it’ll still feel right. Relationships that won’t work out in the long-term last longer if you move slowly…because it just takes you longer to figure out this relationship is a no-go. But that’s something worth finding out right away.

You get in too deep

I’m not saying that every relationship you take it slowly with is going to be the wrong thing for you at the moment. But, when a slow moving relationship isn’t working, it takes a long time to figure that out. And once you figure it out, you’re often in very deep with this other person. You care about him or now have a history with her. There’s a momentum to the relationships that makes it really tough to end it. So, you wind up staying in this not-so-great relationship for even longer. But, if you were to rush into the relationship and realize it’s a meh relationship sooner, you’d be more likely to bail quickly. It’s like getting out of the deep end of the pool versus getting out of a baby pool. When you’re in deeper, it’s a higher threshold to get out—you’ll be freezing from head to toe and it will take a long time to dry off. So, you stay in the pool until you’re pruney. But, getting out of ankle deep water is no big thing. No chills and no dry time. Same thing with relationships. Set yourself up to get out if you need to before you’re in too deep.

Your gut knows best

I’m a big believer in trusting your gut. Deep down, you always know what’s working in terms of romance and what’s definitely not. In the beginning of a relationship, you just have your gut talking to you. Once you get further into knowing someone, your heart and your head get involved. And they’re honestly not as trustworthy as your gut. So, I think you should learn as much as you can about a new lover as quickly as you can, while your gut’s still in charge. You’ll get a much more accurate sense of the relationship that way.

That’s why I say screw taking it slow! Sprint into your next relationship and you’ll be much happier, no matter the outcome. And with that, sprinters, take your marks! Ready! Set! Fall in love!