The Sex Files with Emily Morse

Fun & Sexy Date Ideas You Haven’t Tried Yet

Dear Emily,

I’m 26 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We do our best to keep things interesting, but this year my goal is help us spice things up even further! I’ve been attempting to plan bi-weekly date nights that will 1.) Help us turn up the romance outside the bedroom and 2.) Inspire us even more inside the bedroom. I’ve already got a staycation at a local hotel and a couple outdoor picnics planned, but I’m running out of ideas! If I were to plan the perfect date, what should I include? Any suggestions on how to keep date nights fresh and exciting when we’ve already had 4 years of fun and interesting dates?

Thanks for everything you all do to make the world a better, sexier place!
Kristin

Dear Kristin,

Sexy Date IdeasWhat a fantastic goal to set for yourself and your partner! After 4 years, many couples settle into a date night routine and give up on planning new adventures, but I love that you are taking control of your relationship and making a commitment to keeping it hot.

That being said, I know you’re probably feeling a little overwhelmed. Thinking of fresh date ideas is no easy task, even for those of us in relatively new relationships. The trouble is, there is no exact science for the perfect date, because we all have different ideas of fun. For some people, the classic “dinner and a movie” is the ultimate date night activity; for others, that sounds about as exhilarating as 5 minutes of missionary sex… Fully clothed missionary sex!

Generally the perfect date depends more on the daters than the actual chosen activity. I’ve been on dates to the hardware store that were more memorable than extravagant dinner reservations and bouquets of long-stemmed roses, thanks to a little thing I like to call chemistry. Lucky for you, Kristin, you already KNOW you’ve got a great date partner — Now you just need to find an activity that will get you both feeling the spark and bring out your very best selves! And I’m guessing that’s going to take something a bit more engaging than a trip to your local Home Depot.

Whether you’re in the mood for something wild and spontaneous, deeply romantic, or simply a new experience that you can share together, here are some fun and fresh date night suggestions to get you started:

Get Your Hearts Racing

Have you ever noticed how the opening weekend of a horror film is always overrun with couples? Ever since the Drive-In movie days, there’s been a long-standing tradition of taking a new date to a scary movie, and it’s usually spot on. Suzy High School jumps at a scary part in the movie and snuggles close to John the Jock, and BOOM — We’ve got contact. The reason for the success of this date, however, has more to do with psychology than it does with a guy’s smooth arm-over-shoulder move. It’s actually a Misattribution of Arousal: a person experiences physiological symptoms associated with fear (an increased heart rate, sweaty palms, shortness of breath, etc.) but mistakenly believes these symptoms are related to sexual arousal. And really, where’s the harm?

I’m sure you’re far past the days of tricking your partner to snuggle in close with a scary movie, but there are other ways to get your hearts racing! Whether you’re bungee jumping, skydiving, waterskiing or taking a ride on the world’s most terrifying roller coaster, nothing makes a date more memorable than throwing some serious adrenaline into the mix. Plus, the more thrilling the date night activity, the hotter the following night of sex will be… It’s science!

Bust A Move

When you’ve been together for a while, you start to feel like you know everything about each other. That’s why taking on a completely new activity is such a fun idea for couples — You may know everything about their day-to-day lives, their likes and their dislikes, but you’ve never seen them attempt to tackle the Tango!

Learning something new together is a serious bonding experience, not to mention a lot of fun. It brings back that novelty you had in the beginning of your relationship, and can often lead to a whole new world of date possibilities. And if you’re going to learn something new, why not make it a sultry dance form that mimics the movements of making sweet, sweet love? The Argentine Tango is by far one of the sexiest and most romantic dances a couple can master. The entire dance is built upon the act of a close, passionate embrace — They don’t call it the “Dance of the Heart” for nothing! And even if you end up stepping on each other’s feet and making complete fools of yourselves, you’ll still have made some pretty sweet (and most likely hilarious) memories.

Go Sexy Time Shopping

You know that feeling when you’re not even hungry until you set foot inside your local grocery store? Suddenly all you can think about is stocking your shopping cart with ingredients that you can’t wait to run home and throw in the crock pot. It’s the craziest thing, but sometimes we just need a little inspiration to help whet our appetite!

Now imagine this same phenomenon, except instead of produce, it’s pleasure products you’re tossing into your cart! If you’re looking for a bit of bedroom inspiration, there’s no better place to start than your local sex shop. Shopping for toys together is the ultimate form of foreplay — Everywhere you turn, there’s something new and exciting you could try out, and right beside you is the person you’d want to try them with! You see a skimpy negligee in the lingerie section and imagine the dressing (and undressing) that could occur. You catch your man eyeing a set of silk bedroom restraints and envision an evening of elaborate role-playing. Even if you don’t go home with every item that sparks your interest, I guarantee your sexy shopping trip will open up the conversation for kinky new explorations. And whatever goodies you do take To-Go… I’ll bet they barely make it to the bedroom before you bust them out and start playing.

There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to dates, and unlike the menu at that trendy and overpriced “date night restaurant”, there’s always an option for substitutions. Maybe a sushi-making class is more your speed for learning a new activity. Perhaps your partner is deathly afraid of heights, but has always been curious about scuba diving. Look for activities that pair with your personalities like fancy cheese with a fine wine. And don’t be afraid to bring your lover into the date-planning process! Two heads are better than one, after all. Plus, the simple act of discussing possible date activities will help you feel more connected and more excited about the adventures to come.

Want more Sex With Emily? Check out my podcasts for free on iTunes. For some sexy products to enhance your sex life: Unlock the secret to your orgasmic potential with the one-of-a-kind Sybian ($75 off with code: EMILY75). Tighten and tone your pelvic floor for stronger orgasms with the Intensity by Pour Moi. Looking for new additions to your goodie drawer? Use code EMILY for 15% off at Good Vibrations where you can find all my favorite toys in my store.

Have a question? Email me feedback@sexwithemily.com.

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