AskPatti

#AskPatti: Text dumping, drunk cheating, not being ready for relationships & more!

Author Thumbnail by Patti Stanger
Posted at 1:30 pm on April 3, 2014

Hello again, my lovelies. Another week has gone by and it’s time for another #AskPatti! Writing this is one of my favorite weekly activities. I hope that reading it is one of yours, too! Relationships and finding love are always going to be confusing. And I’m always going to be here to answer the questions dating inevitably brings up. Let’s get to it!

A text break up says one of two things, “I’m too much of a coward to do this in person,” or “I don’t think you’re important enough to do this in person.” Either way, why would you want to see this douche again? I know that getting some closure from him sounds like it would be a good thing, but here’s the truth: You can only get closure from yourself. Just accept that this guy isn’t your forever guy because he’s plain not good enough for you and move on as quickly as you can. No face-to-face needed!
Here’s what I would do: Tell him to get packing and find somewhere else to sleep for the next FOREVER. Once a cheater, always a cheater. And if he’s sober enough to get it up, he’s sober enough to keep it in his pants. Alcohol is no excuse for cheating. Do your future-self a favor and end it now. It’s going to get harder and harder the longer you wait and the more he cheats.
Wait, you guys moved in together and then suddenly he’s not ready for a relationship? Um, that’s crazy! I get that living with a partner isn’t easy at first. But to back out and say you’re not ready for a relationship at all? That logic is nuts. I need to know a little more information about this before making an official call, but in general, you should partner up with someone who is able to work through problems and doesn’t back out of the entire relationship because of one sinkful of dirty dishes, you know?
Honey, after this awards season, who isn’t in love with Jared Leto and his hair? Seriously though, celeb crushes are nothing to be worried about. You can have a celeb crush and still be in a very meaningful, very monogamous relationship.
If the only reason you’re looking for love is something selfish like that, you’re not going to find it. Love is about a lot more than not being alone and it’s really demanding emotionally. Wait to bring someone else into your life until you’re ready. And it sounds like now’s not the time for you.

Talk to you next week, lovers!

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