Matchmaking 101 - Office Hours with Lisa Clampitt

11 Tips for a Successful Date

11 tips for successful dating. couple holds handsDating plays a vital role in the matchmaking process. This is where my clients get to practice. Meeting with a matchmaker is the classroom experience, while dating is the hands on, field experience—offering an opportunity to get out there and find who and what exactly works for them.

As a Matchmaker I supply my clients with invaluable feedback after each date, but my tips before a date are what I stress when first working with a client.

Whether you are looking for advice to share with your own clients, or are eager to plan a successful date for yourself, I guarantee that incorporating these 11 dating tips will make the dating experience more successful, and enjoyable!

  1. Choose the right place to meet:

    Make it a quiet, neutral place convenient and accessible to the both of you, outside of your home or apartment and away from noisy bars and distractions.  You want to be able to communicate easily and hear all the details of the conversation.

  2. Stay focused on the other person:

    Avoid distractions during your date. Focus and relate directly to your date and listen to what they have to say. Be curious and ask follow up questions to their stories. This is especially helpful if you tend to be nervous or quiet at first!

  3. Keep the conversation balanced:

    Don’t monopolize the conversation with a rambling, verbal resume about yourself or your accomplishments. You may think you are impressing your date, but often, talking too much on a date will make the other person loose interest and feel you are self involved.  Make sure it’s a give and take and show your curious side.

  4. Be a flirt:

    Flirting is a great way to show someone you are interested. Make eye contact, smile, be curious, interact, and engage with members of the opposite sex. Rest assured, your positive, open, flirtatious aura will attract attention.

  5. Stay in the present:

    Avoid talking about an ex or any horror stories from the past. As tempting is this can be, it is a lose-lose situation. Instead, concentrate on interests or points of view you have in common. Enjoy finding out about someone new and discovering what you are like now, with this new person.

  6. Be positive:

    Everyone is attracted to someone who is happy. Leave your worries at home when you go out on a date. Dating is an opportunity to go on vacation from your daily grind. Give your date and yourself a break during this time. The more upbeat and positive you feel, the more attractive and magnetic you are.

  7. Don’t have sex on a first date:

    Showing someone you are interested or attracted to them by flirting is one thing, but maintain boundaries by leaving some mystery for the second date. Getting sexual right away doesn’t usually work out. Allow yourself time to balance physical attraction with other important elements like basic values and communication as well as discovering similar outlooks and interests. Give your date a chance to be more than a just a sexual encounter.

  8. Take your time:

    Give yourself time to discover how you feel about this person and how they feel about you. You can’t rush a relationship or take it faster than the pace at which each of you is comfortable with. Enjoy savoring the moment.

  9. Learn to recognize the signs of unequal attraction:

    Try and learn to read the body language of your date.  Look at what they are telling you both verbally and nonverbally. Try and be honest with yourself. If you sense your attraction to them is not really reciprocated, don’t force the issue. If this person is not right for you, save your energy for someone who is. And if you’re the one who is less interested, don’t be rude but don’t lead them on either.

  10. Follow up from the date:

    If you are interested in seeing this person again, don’t play games. Call them, ask them out again or return their call if they call you first. Don’t make the other person guess where you stand. Be honest and communicate. There is nothing ruder than unreturned phone calls.

  11. Try, try again:

    Dating can take practice. Learn from it and don’t get discouraged. The more you get out there, the more opportunity you have to meet others. When it is right, you will find that person that sees how special you are.  Remember your great qualities and lead every date with those qualities you feel best about. If you feel it and believe it, it will shine through.


Dating can be tricky, but with these tips you are now on your way to a successful and enjoyable dating experience! Keep me updated on how your dates go, and as always, if you are interested in working with a matchmaker or becoming one yourself, please contact me at – or visit Matchmaking Institute for information.


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