Relationships

To the men: How to approach women and avoid being creepy

“Creepy” is a pretty negative term, yet unfortunately, it’s one that women use a little too often to describe guys. The annoying thing is, the vast majority of guys branded as “creepy” are done so unfairly. The truth is these guys are usually cool, calm, confident men in every other aspect of their lives who just can’t seem to convey that to the women they meet. This typically happens because either they’re nervous and fearful of rejection or they have no idea what to say.

But women don’t know this. They don’t know you’re nervous; they don’t know that you are questing what to say. All they know is that something does not feel right about you when you approach them, and therefore you become creepy.

So how does a guy approach a woman and avoid being labeled as creepy?

If you want to avoid coming off as creepy, you have to stop being “creepy” and start taking action. Here a five ways to change your approach so that you will never be wrongly labeled again.

1. Avoid lingering

You’re not fooling anybody. We women can see you. In the corner, walking by us waiting to catch our eye, talking with friends. If you see us, either smile and hold contact for at least a couple seconds and get back to what you are doing… or approach us. For every moment you wait and linger, it’s one more notch added to our creepy meter. Take the initiative and strike up a conversation. This way you’ll seem confident — not creepy.

2. Drill down your intention

When I ask my private coaching clients, “What is your reason for approaching an attractive woman?” the typical response is, “I want to approach her, talk with her, ask for her number and go on a date.” To which I say, “Whoa… slow your roll”. You don’t even know if you like this girl yet, and you’re already planning the wedding or a huge sex romp! If you are too focused on an outcome, it stops you from being present in a conversation. Therefore, you won’t be connecting to the women you’re approaching. If you can drill down your intention and switch your desire from need to want, you will see very different reactions from women.

3. Approach her from an angle

It’s pretty creepy when you are standing somewhere and — poof — there’s some guy who has approached you from behind and starts talking to you. Right away my primal, lizard brain is triggered, and I’m ready to protect myself from danger. Which means you’ve already got a strike against you. Instead of a sneak-attack approach, try approaching a woman from a 45-degree angle so that she can see you coming. Make sure to maintain that 45-degree angle when talking to her. Face-on is way too aggressive and seems needy. Couple this with confident, comfortable body language, and the word creepy won’t even enter her thoughts.

4. Eye Contact

Nothing is creepier than a guy who approaches you and in the first 10 seconds is ogling your goodies. Even if they’re fabulous. Keep your eyes up here. Eye contact is one of the most powerful ways that we communicate who we are as a person. It tells a person if they can trust us, whether we think they’re hot and how we feel about ourselves. Look away too much from a person, and you’ll appear shy; stare too heavily, and you’ll come across as too intense. Avoid looking creepy by getting the balance of eye contact just right.

5. Don’t be afraid to walk away

After the approach, give the interaction about two minutes. That should be enough time to evaluate whether or not you’re interested in a girl. At the two minute mark, leave. Go back to your life and catch up with her later. Nothing is worse than when a guy sticks around out of fear he’ll loose the attraction that was created. Trust me, if you walk away and I’m into you, I’ll like you even more.

Follow these simple tips, and I promise you’ll appear cooler, calmer and more confident —qualities that women find seriously attractive and not at all creepy!

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