Men aren’t like a pair of overalls you had in first grade that you get too big for and give to your younger cousin. Well, not exactly. But, you can outgrow your man. Relationships evolve and so do you, honey. If your man isn’t evolving and changing with you, you could have outgrown him already. Here’s how to tell.
Is he open to change? – Outgrown your man
This sounds like an easy question. Maybe so easy that it’s kinda dumb. But, it’s actually a really deep question you need to think about in a real way. Some people are open to change and some people aren’t. A man who doesn’t appreciate that he’s not the same person he was yesterday and won’t be the same person he is today when the sun rises might be resistant to accepting change. And if there’s one thing that’s a constant, it’s change. (Old joke, but I had to.) Think about if your guy is a change guy or a hold-on-to-status-quo-so-hard-there-are-nail-mark guy. If he’s the former, great! Less likely that you’ll outgrow him. If he’s a status-quo-er, read on. You could be in trouble.
Has your financial situation changed? – Outgrown your man
I know that money seems like a surfacey thing that shouldn’t matter. But, the cold, hard truth is that money matters. And it matters a lot. Some men are perfect matches for you when you’re in a certain financial situation, but when it changes, it could mean that your relationship changes. So, if you’ve started out-earning your fellow and he’s suddenly a total tool to you because his manhood is threatened by that extra comma on your paycheck, then you’re way too big for that guy. On the other hand, if he’s super proud of your accomplishments, then it seems like he’s growing with you, which is great. And then same thing works in the other direction. If your financial situation takes a downturn and he’s not able to roll with the punches and be a good partner to you, then he’s not a big enough person for you to be with.
Is he your number one? – Outgrown your man
When something happens to you, good or bad, is he still the person you want to tell first? And more importantly, when you tell him, does he get you? If the answer is yes, then there’s absolutely no way you’ve outgrown your man. So, congrats! But, if you find yourself wanting to talk to a friend about career wins and losses because your guy doesn’t understand your professional trajectory or if something funny happens to you and you tell your brother instead of your man because you know your man won’t get the joke, you could be in the process of outgrowing him. Your partner should be the person you want to talk to early and often. You deserve to be in a relationship where your man is number one on your list of confidants.
Hopefully this will help you sort out your feelings and decide if you’re in a relationship that grows with you or if you need to trade in your man for a more compatible model.