Warning: Single ladies, I’m about to get all tough love up on you. I’m out and out sick of listening to my single friends repeat the same toxic sayings over and over again. My friends are fabulous, successful, sexy and very confused about why they’re still single. And from a distance, you’d be really confused too. But, I know exactly why some of my favorite single ladies can’t get a man. It’s their attitudes, and specifically how they talk about dating. If you’re a single gal—my friend or not—who’s saying any of the below totally terrible phrases about her dating life, know that you’re the reason you’re single.
“I don’t have time to date”
Look, I get that we’re all busy and trust me, I’ve felt completely overwhelmed with my own schedule. But, still, I always made time to meet new exciting men because finding love is the most important thing in my life. If you’re not making time for love, it’s not going to make time for you. So, think about your schedule. Every time you book something during prime date time, think to yourself, “Is this more important than finding the love of my life?” If it is, go ahead and book that meeting, plan those girl drinks or head to that gym class. But know that anything you’re prioritizing about love is going to happen to before you find love.
“I’m too picky”
What are you saying here, single ladies? That those of us in relationships are just settling for ho-hum dudes? Come on! When I hear a woman say this, I actually do believe her. She probably is being too picky. Look, love isn’t about finding the perfect man. Love is about finding the perfect match for you! That means that he’s not going to be 100% perfect because—newsflash—you’re not 100% perfect! Stop looking for Mr. Perfect and start looking for Mr. Perfect For You! Figure out your five non-negotiables and get going!
“He’s just not out there”
Literally, I only hear this from women who aren’t actively trying to find love. So, yeah, he’s not out there if you consider “out there” to be your living room during a Netflix marathon. But, if you’re moving and shaking and heading to hotspots where men actually hang out—steak restaurants, cigar bars, comic book stores, convention centers—you’ll see that there are a ton of men out there and one of them is perfect for you! So, stop complaining and start trying. It’s so worth the effort!
“I’m not online dating”
Seriously, give me a break. What is everyone’s hang up with online dating? Aside from a professional matchmaker, online dating is the most effective way to find love. Get over whatever stigma you still think exists with online dating. Everyone frickin’ else has! No one judges couples who meet online and you should stop judging yourself. Online dating is how I met my man and I literally could not be happier.
So, my single girls, are you saying any of the above four sentences? If you are, stop! Stop! Stop! Once you change your attitude, you’ll see a lot of changes in your love life. I guarantee it.