Matchmaking 101 - Office Hours with Lisa Clampitt

Ditch these 5 Dating Rules to Snag a Good Guy

Frustrated woman looks at the love rule bookYou know who likes to play dating games? Players! No nice guy is into following stereotypical dating rules. Most of the time they don’t even understand them. Commitment oriented men want to be with someone who shows genuine interest in them. They need to know that a woman likes them back.

So, unless you are looking to catch a player, here are the dating rules that you should ditch immediately, and why:

Rule 1: Don’t approach the guy first

The most relationship-oriented men are often the guys who are scared to approach a woman first. After being rejected a few times they become resigned not to make a first move.

You know who is great at making the first move? That’s right, a player! They have it mastered because they’ve had more practice. Nice guys who prefer to be in a relationship don’t have much practice picking up women at a bar.

Break the rule and when you spot a cute, quiet guy in the corner, go up to him yourself. He will be so flattered that you did.

Rule 2: Wait three days before returning his call

Listen to me carefully here… if you wait three whole days to return the call of a nice guy looking for a girlfriend, he will think you aren’t interested. He’ll have no clue that it is actually all part of your master game plan to seem easygoing.  If you really like the guy and he leaves you a voicemail, call him back promptly.  If you don’t’ call him back, then the next woman he meets will and he’ll start dating her.

Remember: only players know how to read the three days before a phone call move because they are in it for the chase. You are trying to avoid this at all costs.

Rule 3: Don’t spend too much time together when you first meet

You know why a player doesn’t want to spend too much time with you when you first meet? Because they are dating other women! If your nice guy asks you out three times in the same week and you are having a blast, don’t think twice about it. Go and have fun!

Rule 4: Never accept a spontaneous invitation:

This goes along with the last point. If “relationship guy” asks you out on a date for the same night, and you are free, it is perfectly okay to say yes to the date. He will not think less of you for being available last minute. Players are the ones who like a girl who seems unattainable.  No nice guy is going to understand that turning him down for imaginary plans is actually you “playing it cool”. They simply think you didn’t want to hang out.

Bottom line: if you like him, say YES! A lot of relationship experts don’t agree with my advice but believe me, I am right!  I know how to snag a relationship guy not only personally, but also by hearing the feedback of thousands of guys that wanted relationships.

and to add a little controversy…

Rule 5: Don’t sleep with him too soon:

I do agree that you don’t want to sleep with someone on the first date if you are looking to start a meaningful romantic relationship, but I just thought I would throw this last part to make a point.

In my experience, if you sleep with a relationship friendly guy on one of your first few dates, he is probably going to think you are his girlfriend!

If you do the same thing with a guy who is a player, he is going to feel like he conquered you and move right along to his next prospect.

For some unexplainable reason, women who call themselves relationship-oriented, are blinded by men looking to play the field. They love a smooth talker—a guy who is handsome, wealthy, and gets all of the girls. The problem is, if you stick to these types of men you will end up chasing them for the rest of your life.

Beware of bad boys! When you see that nice, sweet, relationship-friendly guy at the bar sitting alone, walk right up to him, and remember to leave the dating games at home.