If you’re a living, breathing woman, you’ve gone through a bad break up. It’s just part of being alive, unfortunately and a risk we all take when we give our heart to someone. I’m not going to sugar coat it with any B.S. like, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.” When someone tells that to me after a break up, I respond with a big old middle finger. Post-break up is not a time to insist on sunshiney thinking. But, it can be a time for some tough love. Lady, you shouldn’t dwell on whatever loser let you walk away. You’ve got to get over him. And here’s how you’re going to do it.
I know, saying “date yourself” is cheese central. But, hear me out. When you’ve been in a couple for so long, you stop thinking of “me” and start thinking of “we.” Once you’re out of a relationship, it can be hard to remember what “me” actually means to you. So, take some time to figure it out. Go back to your old hobbies that you gave up because he wasn’t into them. Watch the movies you never watched because you were too busy watching his boring sports stuff. Reconnect with people you fell out of touch with. Your life before this guy was awesome, remember? Your life after him will be too. You just need to jumpstart it.
Get rid of reminders
How many times have I gone over to one of my heart broken girlfriends’ homes only to find that she has mementos from the relationship out and about, like they’re no big deal? Way too many times! Physical reminders of the guy you’re trying to get over are huge hurdles to healing. Get rid of his favorite mug, stop sleeping in his t-shirts and hide those framed pictures of you guys at Disneyland! You need to get over this loser and stumbling over reminders of him several times a day just isn’t helping.
Lean on your friends
In the words of one of my favorite sappy songs, “That’s what friends are for!” Your friends want to help you through this. Don’t be afraid to ask for a little support. And don’t expect them to know exactly what you need, unless your friends are all psychics. (In which case, please invite me to your birthday party. Sounds fun!) You might need to tell them what would make you feel better. Do it! The sooner you get over this guy, the sooner you’ll be back to their awesome friend they’ve missed during your heartbreak.
Go to therapy
If you’ve been feeling way bummed about this break up for more than four weeks and things haven’t gotten better at all, it might be time to call in a professional. Therapy is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and it is super, super helpful when you’re not feeling like yourself. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if this is feeling like more than just your average case of the post break up blues.
As soon as you’re feeling up to it, get out there, girl and go on some dates! You don’t have to be completely over him or ready for a brand new relationship to go on a date with someone new. You just have to be ready for some fun and a new experience. That’s it. If you can make if a full night without sobbing over your ex, I say get online and pick a new dude to take you out. You’ll be surprised at how even a bad date can help you in your healing process.
Anyone out there have any other tips on how to get over a bad break? Would love to hear them! Let me know in the comments!