Are you dating Mr. Commitment Phobia? You love each other to bits, and you’d love nothing more than to settle down in a fully committed relationship. The trouble is, no matter what you say, you can’t seem to get him to official commit. You give him everything. Your heart and soul is his, and he knows exactly how you feel, yet in many ways it still feels like you’re living separate lives.
Are you just stuck with a man who is afraid of commitment? Are all men commitment-phobes at heart? The answer here is a huge NO. Despite what some women believe, most men are perfectly capable of settling down. But, there are certain things which will put men off committing to you. It could be you’re unwittingly turning a man who would be completely devoted to you, into a “flaker in waiting” by making these 4 relationship mistakes!
1. Stop doing everything for him
So many women say things like, “I do everything for him. No matter what he wants, I’m there for him. It doesn’t matter how much I do, he still seems emotionally closed off to me. What’s going on?” This is one of the problems. You’re doing EVERYTHING for this man.
It’s great showing you care, and it’s wonderful you’re prepared to go the extra mile to show him how much you love him. But, you’re starving him of one of the most important ingredients in a relationship a man wants to commit to. That ingredient is allowing him to feel needed. For a man to feel 100% complete and “into” a relationship, he needs to feel like you NEED him. He doesn’t want a woman who is going to do everything for him. If you steal a man’s independence he’ll run for the door so fast it’ll make your head spin.
2. Men will not commit to Nurturing Nancy
So many women end up mothering their men. This is a big mistake! It doesn’t matter whether you feel your man needs mothering, or whether that’s just the way you treat everyone, you cannot ever mother a man and expect him to settle down. Obviously, women are natural nurturers, but in a relationship, you need to strike a sensible balance. If you overdo, the guy is going to feel like he’s dating his mother, and believe me, that’s the quickest way to guarantee he won’t commit to you.
Think about your relationship, and ask yourself, how much do you take care of this guy? You need to let him take care of you too. You need to convey the fact you need him too. I don’t care whether that’s letting him do jobs around the house, or asking him to take control of the finances. Whatever it is, you have to let him have some independence and control. If you don’t, he’ll feel like something is missing, even if he’s not sure what it is.
3. You’re not making him feel like Tarzan
That’s right. As men, we still like to feel like cavemen in certain ways. We want to be the man who goes out and brings you back the saber-toothed tiger for dinner. We still need the “Me Tarzan, you Jane” dynamic in a relationship. The problem is in our modern world the gender roles we’ve mixed the gender roles up. Men are passive and women are the strong independent ones. If you’re with an evolved man, he won’t want that dynamic in a relationship. You need to submit a little if you want him to commit.
4. You’re not the boss at home
You’re a strong, independent career woman. That’s amazing. You’re in control, you know what you want, and you know how to get it. But don’t bring that attitude home into a relationship, and start busting your man’s balls. I see so many women who bring their work alter-ego home with them, and it causes major problems. Your man doesn’t want you to tell him off because he didn’t do the washing up well-enough, or because he didn’t put the toilet seat up.
Start busting your guy’s balls and once again, he’s going to feel like he’s dating his mother. Leave the boss woman act for the office and relax when you come home. You don’t have to be in control the whole time.
5. You’re obsessed with your phone
This is a modern problem, but one that drives men crazy. Put down your damn phone. We don’t care about your Facebook status, we don’t care what Miley Cyrus just tweeted, and don’t care how many lives you have in Candy Crush. Put the phone down and start talking to your man.
Honestly, phones have become a real issue in relationships, and I’m not saying men aren’t guilty of it too, but it seems to be a female lead problem. So, if you’re wondering why your man won’t commit, think about whether you’re making any of these 5 relationship howlers, and if you are, fix it and see how quickly he wants to settle down.