I had a great email from a lady named Claire last week. She asks a common question, but one that deserves addressing. It’s all about men and commitment. Yes, I know you ladies are all about commitment and trying to figure out why some men won’t settle down. So let’s see what I can share with you today!
Here’s Claire’s email and my reply below…
I’ve just met this guy. He’s sweet, we had a really good first date, and I feel like we connected. He wants to see me again so I have a good feeling about things. Here’s my question. When should you ask a guy about commitment? I don’t mean ask him whether he’s ready to commit after one date of course. I mean when should you ask a guy if he’s the settling down type? Some guys just want a bit of fun and I don’t want to waste my time on men like that. At the same time, I don’t want to scare him off.”
But, you have to do it the right way. See, one of the mistakes women make on a date is talking too much. They tell the guy what they’re looking for in a man and a relationship. When you do this, you tell the guy everything he needs to know. Most men on a date are like agreeable sales men. They’ll say whatever they think you want to hear. When you tell him you’re looking for something long term, he’ll tell you he wants the same. It might be true, but it might not. He could just be saying that to make himself sound like the perfect guy so he can get you into bed. A player who just wants to get you into bed will say whatever it takes to win you over.
It’s the same with a man who hasn’t seen a vagina in months; He’ll say whatever it takes to make himself sound attractive to you. So how to you get a man to tell you what he genuinely wants from a relationship?
Here’s what you do. You look at him and ask right out, “Let me ask you a question. What are you looking for right now? Do you want to settle down with someone or just have some fun?
An authentic man will tell you exactly what he’s looking for. It doesn’t matter whether he wants sex, a casual friend, or marriage. He’ll be completely open and honest about his intentions.
Then see what he says. An authentic man will tell you exactly what he’s looking for. It doesn’t matter whether he wants sex, a casual friend, or marriage. He’ll be completely open and honest about his intentions. A player won’t give you a straight answer. He’ll look around the room awkwardly. He won’t know what you want him to say so he’ll guess. It’s the biggest giveaway possible.
The guy you want to take you on a second date is the one who tells you right out what he wants. If you both want the same things then go for it. Chances are you’ve found yourself a man who wants the same thing as you!
It’s that simple!