Let’s talk about vajazzling, shall we? For those of you not in the know, vajazzling is badazzling your vagina. And if you’re a woman who feels she needs a little more glitz and glam down south, I say, more power to you. It’s your va-jay-jay and your semi-precious stone collection. Do what you want with them. Recently though, I got asked what men think of vajazzling, and for one of the few times in my life, I was totally speechless. I have no idea what the male perspective on vajazzling is. So I sat down with one of my favorite funny men, comedian and dating coach Ethan Fixell, to get a real man’s take. Here’s what I learned.
They don’t think it’s real
Men aren’t entirely sure vajazzling is real. Ethan says that most men think of vajazzling “like those cryptids or urban legends that pervade our modern culture. The actual existence of vajazzling has yet to be confirmed by anyone I personally know.” It seems that most men haven’t encountered a vajazzled vajay or even heard of someone who has. That should tell you something about the frequency of vajazzling. So if you ever feel pressure to sparkle up your nether regions because you think your man expects it, well, just stop. They obviously don’t assume women are automatically vajazzled.
It’s generally a turn-off
Not only do dudes not expect vajazzling, they’re generally not that into it. Ethan explains, “It’s not so much the vajazzling as the meaning behind it that’s a turn-off. Why would a girl get something like this done? Is it to distract from that which she is otherwise insecure about (e.g. an SMV or, ‘Super Messy Vagina’)? Or was the mere decision to get vajazzled an indication of her proclivity to expose her privates.” I’m not sure I buy that women vajazzling has anything to do with insecurities about their ‘gines or the rate at which they show their lady bits to the world, but I do see why Ethan says it’s not a turn on. Vajazzling is kind of weird, and I think the last thing a man wants when he goes to take off your pants is a surprise. Thinking, “What the hell?” is generally not a sexy thought to have in bed. So like I said above, if vajazzling is what makes you feel sexy and confident, go for it. But don’t get out your rock tumbler because you think that’s what’s going to get your man’s pecker going. Chances are he’ll be more weirded out by it than turned on.
They won’t reciprocate
Have you heard of pejazzling? No? Well, it’s vajazzling for men. When I asked him if your average guy would consider pejazzling, Ethan gave me a firm “no.” And while I don’t have a wide range of personal data to go from, I have to agree. Whatever down-under bedazzling is going on, it’s mostly for the women. Pejazzling might be the Sasquatch of male grooming.
Hope that helps you when it comes to your questions about vajazzling. If you have any more questions, tweet them at me, and if you want to learn more about Ethan (And you should! I can’t get enough of the cutie patootie!) check out his comedy duo, Dave and Ethan, or follow him on Twitter.