Relationships

How important is physical appearance?

If you watch Millionaire Matchmaker, you know I want my girls and guys looking hot, hot, hot the first time they meet each other. Is this because I think looks are the most important part of love and romance? Um, no. But do I believe the saying love is blind? Double no. Here’s the thing — looks matter a lot during some points of your relationship and a whole lot less at other points. Here’s a quick breakdown of how important physical appearance is.

Very, very — First impression

Not only are looks an important thing when you’re making a first impression, they’re literally the only thing. Your appearance says hello before your mouth actually says it. Your physical appearance is your first impression. Even if you’re the sweetest, funniest, nicest woman on earth, no guy is going to take the time to introduce himself to you if your looks aren’t appealing enough to attract him. And that’s the ugly truth.

Very — Getting to know each other

During the courting phase of a relationship, and I’m talking from date two until you decide to be exclusive, looks are still very important. The only reason they’re not very, very important is because after date one, looks aren’t the only thing your guy is going on. You two have had at least one date, and he’s able to appreciate your inner beauty in addition to that killer blowout. Even if you’re feeling really comfortable and secure with your man, I say don’t let yourself go too much until you’ve had the determining-the-relationship talk. You know that I have a no-sex rule before monogamy, and right now I’m instating a no-sweatpants rule before monogamy too.

Kinda — The early phases of monogamy

I know how it goes. Once you two have agreed to be monogamous, your focus on your appearance wanes a bit. After all, he saw you come out of the pool that one time. Your hair was wet, your arm flab was flopping and your mascara wasn’t waterproof. The jig is up. Remember though that physical appearance is still important on some levels. This is especially true when you’re meeting his friends and family. Each meet and greet is a first impression, and they’re going to be judging you on appearance before they get to know you too. So look classy when you’re in groups, even if he sees you in a seaweed mask at home occasionally.

Not as much — After I love you

Once you two are in love, looks really do melt away and all you see is the person you love. You love them in their sweatpants, and you love them in the tuxedos because you love them as a person. When you’re seriously involved with a man, he’s seen you sick, sad and frizzy. After sights like that, your lipstick color is going to matter a whole heck of a lot less. That’s not to say that you should never put on the Ritz for your man. Of course every man appreciates when his lady dresses up for him, and he should always be proud to have you on his arm. So surprise him every once in a while by being your first-date glamorous self.

What do you think? Have you ever dated someone you really weren’t physically attracted to? Have you ever felt like you botched a first impression? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Tags

  • My boyfriend and the father of my kids tells me I’m beautiful no matter how I look…. but, yes there’s a but I kno lol, I feel inside as if I’m not beautiful enough 4him? I feel as if since I had my 2 beautiful daughters my self asteem went down? How would or could I by pass this thought in my head with out changing who I really am? He’s lik a typical guy he doesn’t care about stretch marks or waking up to bad breath, but I ust feel as me always being a diva then to just stop it takes a toll and I’m a young mother also I’m 21yrs old and I live in california and my boyfriends from chicago?

  • I totally agree; a resounding YES!!! I have a personal belief system that a lady should always look presentable and also occasionally WOW her man. Isn’t that what being female is all about. Femininity is so beautiful, attractive, alluring. I like being a girl, and I’m a girlie girl. I love dressing my canvas to show people the artist I am inside. I wear me well:) Show ’em your flavor and inner beauty by what you wear!