Patti's Blog

10 Reasons To Dump Him

woman contemplates 10 reasons to leave her manTo dump or not to dump? If that’s the question bouncing around your brain, you’ve come to the right place. Here are 10 reasons you need to kick your man to the curb immediately. If any of these apply to you, run, do not walk, to the nearest break up conversation.

  1. He disses you

    We all know the difference between fun teasing and out and out disrespect. If your man is anything but complimentary to you on the regular, say sayonara to him. You deserve a partner who loves you completely and isn’t consistently cutting you down or making you feel crappy.

  2. You can’t fight

    How a couple fights is a key factor in determining if a relationship if going to work out. If he fights dirty—name-calling, dredging up the past, giving you the silent treatment—then your relationship is a no go. You want someone you can maturely communicate differences of opinions with, not someone who whips out the f-word at the drop of a hat.

  3. He’s holding you back

    A partner should add to your life, not take away from it. And while of course there is compromise in relationships, it shouldn’t be to the point where you’re not perusing your dreams because your dude is holding you back.

  4. You don’t like who you are

    If you turn into someone you don’t like around him, get out. With one of my exes, I was always reminding him to show up on time, telling him what to wear and fixing his meals so he’s actually eat some vegetables. One day I woke up and realized I’d basically become his naggy mom. I hated being that person!

  5. You don’t like him drunk

    We all know that I love a strong cocktail as much as anyone, but drinking can do rotten things to relationships. If you love your guy when he’s sober, but you’re not so into his drunk counterpart, that’s not a great sign. Be with someone you like sober, buzzed and bombed.

  6. Different family plans

    Goals for family planning need to sync up between your guy and you. If they don’t, there’s no use going on a second date, let alone dating him seriously. If he wants kids and you don’t, or vice versa, do both of you a favor and end it now. It’s only going to get harder as you get more invested in each other.

  7. A partner should add to your life, not take away from it.

  8. Money, money, money

    Even though I founded the Millionaire’s Club, I don’t think how much money either of you has is an important part of a relationship. However, I do think your perspective on money is. Are you both savers? Spenders? You guys need to be on the same page on financial philosophies to make a serious relationship work.

  9. You’re not proud of him

    This is a tough one to admit, but are you ashamed of your boyfriend? Do you constantly make excuses to explain away his less flattering qualities? Your partner should be the light of your life, a person whom you’re stoked to introduce to people. If you’re not, think about why long and hard.

  10. Unimaginable future

    Be honest with yourself. Can you picture a life with this guy? And I mean beyond just a fancy wedding. Can you imagine waking up every day with this guy? Taking care of sick kids with him? Calling him whenever you have news, good or bad? If not, go directly to breakupville. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

  11. You clicked into this post

    Why did you click into this post? Is it because you’re thinking about breaking up with your dude? If you are, I say do it. True love is something you know when you know. And if you’re not sure, it probably means this isn’t the one. End it as soon as you can so you can heal, get back on the dating scene and find the one!

 

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  • Laura

    Dear Patti. Im in need of advice.

    Ive been with my man for 2.5 years. We get on great. We are
    good friends. Sex is good etc. Great right? Here’s the problem.

    he is 50 and I am 22. Whilst age doesn’t matter to us I feel it plays a part here. He is seperated from his wife of 20 years and they have 4 grown up children. I get on well with all his children. We run errands together I help him run his busy pub. Some of his children live with him as his ex left the family home and instigated the break up
    and others have left home and on their own. I cook at times. Do the washing when im not working at my full time job. We talked the other day about how he needs to get a cleaner in because I dont help him enough. All my spare time goes into him. In order for him to have a break in the day I cant have 1. I touched upon maybe moving in with him so that I could be around more and it would be the next step in our relationship. He said he hadnt even thought about it. He doesnt want to remarry or have more kids as we’ve discussed in the past. What im asking is am I wasting my time? Should I wait around to see if he wants to live with me or get out? I’ve been very understanding with his very existent ex and the running of his home and helping out like a wife and mum would. Am I being used to fill a gap? He says hes mad about me and loves me and we plan future events together but should I put my life on hold for when hes ready as im not sure he ever will be.

    please help

    Laura

    • Charlotte Townshend

      Wasting your time. I have a rule: If a man says he wants to get married someday, I take it with a grain of salt. If a man says he does NOT want to get married, I (and you) can take it to the BANK. You will NEVER change his mind. Dump him, get back out there, and find someone who is in the same stage of life with the same goals for the future as far as marriage, family, etc.

  • Winter

    Sweetie u r wasting ur time. U and a 55 year old man have nothing in common. Stop wasting ur life with ur grandpa. In about 5 more years, u and this guy is going to b totally out of sync. Dont get so serious about a guy u know might die on u before u even reach 75% of even half a century.

  • BillK

    “I was always reminding him to show up on time, telling him what to wear and fixing his meals so he’s actually eat some vegetables. One day I woke up and realized I’d basically become his naggy mom. I hated being that person!”

    That sounds more like YOUR problem.

    You have to accept your partner as who they are, not who you want them to be.

    If you stick to “just a salad,” that’s great, but if he wants to devour the bread basket and that upsets you, then yes, you should dump him – he’ll THANK you for that.