In a perfect world, couples would make love everyday, each session would end with simultaneous orgasms and then you’d watch your mutually favorite television show.
But we know that’s not going to happen- at least the simultaneous orgasm part.
Because, in reality, he’s thinking, “Please, let me get through the next seven minutes
without ejaculating,” while she’s thinking, “Please, just this once let me have an orgasm during intercourse.” Not to mention the guys who also have a hard time orgasming during sex. (That happens far more frequently than you think.)
So what can you do to make sure you both get the orgasms and pleasure you want (simultaneous orgasms preferred, but not required)?
Instead of mounting into the same missionary position for the umpteenth million time, try something new. If he has trouble lasting during sex, jump on top and slowly grind on top of him, making sure your clitoris is getting the stimulation it needs.
If you do it in missionary position, pick a variation that will help him last longer and you last shorter (translation: you actually have an orgasm during sex).
Coital Alignment Technique (CAT Position) is your biggest hope for having simultaneous orgasms. Have him scoot up a few inches higher than in your usual missionary position. Your body should be flat up against his body. Wrap your legs around his body or ankles, locking him into position. Instead of moving in-and-out, he should slowly move up-and-down, steadily rocking until you both (hopefully) reach orgasm.
Also, it helps to change positions when you have barely broke a sweat, but things are getting hot and heavy for him.
On the other hand, if he’s lasting too long and you aren’t sure if your body can endure anymore penis pumping, try switching into his “ejaculatory position.” Most guys have a position that helps them get to their happy place.
If you’re like 70% of the other women on the planet, you’re not reaching orgasm during intercourse alone. What to do? Make sure you’re getting enough foreplay.
Many women can reach climax while receiving oral sex. He can also rub your clitoris before and during sex. (If only he could lick your clitoris during sex too!)
Don’t be shy about bringing in extra support like the Je Joue Mimi, a great vibrator to discreetly hold against your clitoris while you’re having sex.
Mutual masturbation and 69ing are also great ways to share orgasms with your partner, without actually having sex. Remember, don’t take how he orgasms too personally. Everyone’s body works differently.
Sometimes you need an extra hand, and I’m not talking about having a threesome.
Sometimes you need an extra hand, and I’m not talking about having a threesome. There are amazing products out there to help you both experience the orgasms you want.
Promescent is a mild desensitizing spray that helps men last longer in bed (i.e. no more minute man). He can get in control of when he orgasms while still feeling the pleasurable sensations of sex.
Alternatively, If your guy isn’t orgasming during sex, put a vibrating penis ring on him. I recommend the Je Joue Mio ring. Slip on the ring and let the vibrations carry you both away to a world of pleasure.
Although we don’t live in a perfect world, at least we can experience perfection momentarily in an orgasm, even if it’s not a simultaneous orgasm.
Want more Sex With Emily? Check out my podcasts for free on iTunes, my book Hot Sex and my iPhone apps Kegel Camp and Sex Drive.
Check out my new intimate care line Emily & Tony.
Follow me on Twitter: @sexwithemily and Facebook: Sex With Emily