Marisa's Man-ual

You are who you date!

You are who you dateYou are what you eat.

I am not just talking food here Muffins.  I’m talking men!

What kind of men are you choosing to EAT?  Yes. That’s right. I said it.

You are what you eat.  Just like, you are who you hang out with.

Hence,  guilty by association.  You become your environment.

Need I go on? What type of guy are you choosing to spend all of your precious time with and why? What about him do you love, like, dislike? Please keep in mind that “you are what you eat” refers to your friends as well.

What kind of girlfriends/friends /people do you surround yourself with? (I will circle back to discuss being  “Friends: Guilty by association,” in a different column) These are very basic, yet pertinent questions that you should be asking yourself.

How does he treat you? How does it make you feel? Good, bad, sexy, sad, happy, angry, silly, frustrated, confident?  My Dad always tells me, “People tell you who they are right up front, listen to what they are telling you and believe them!” This is some great wisdom.

They do. Even through all the “window dressing” if you are really watching, listening, taking it all in, you will hear who they are, the good, the bad and the ugly; right from their very own mouth.

It’s rather interesting if you look at this way.  For instance;  A while back I was on a first phone conversation with a guy from an online dating site.

As I have mentioned before, guys like to talk, so let them.  I listened and he said, “I want to live in such and such area, have two kids, have my wife do the cooking and cleaning because having help is unnecessary, blah, blah, blah.”

At that point I just started to zone out.  As I was just about to politely end the call, he began figuring out logistics since we lived 20 minutes apart, which apparently was “SO far”.

He asked if I don’t mind driving to him for the initial meet because he was exhausted from work and then continued on to explain why his side of town is more desirable and has way more exciting things for us to do together.

This immediately translated into my mind as, “I am not willing to get off my fat lazy ass to drive to meet you even on a first date, so you better get used to driving this route A LOT if you want this to work.  Oh, and whatever I say goes.”  Hmmm let’s think here.

How about a big “EAT ME!” And I don’t mean that in the sexy way. I mean that in the “lose my number forever” kind of way.

He told me loud and clear who he is just over a phone call.  Therefore, there was no point in my arranging to meet him. I saved my time, gas, energy, make up, a cute outfit and so forth.

So listen up Muffins! My point is that if you listen and listen close, people will tell you who they are.  Ask about past relationships, relationships with mom, dad, sisters, family etc.  Facts don’t lie.  If he went through a nasty divorce and took a baseball bat to his ex- wife’s windshield, is an estranged father  and/or his ex -girlfriend replaced his shampoo and conditioner with extra strength Nair, then chances are you are going to want to do the same thing to him once your relationship runs its course.

So you have two choices in that scenario 1. Run (don’t walk) or 2. Start stockin’ up on some extra strength Nair.