So, you’ve gone through the horror of a break up and you’re officially over your ex
. Phew! You can finally exhale, right? Well, you can if your ex is out of the picture. But, some men just don’t understand the meaning of “good bye” and won’t leave you alone. I’ve been following the hilarious Instagram account TextsFromYourEx and it just made me think that there could be a lot of ladies out there who need help showing their ex the door once and for all. And in some cases, an ex getting in touch is not funny at all and can even be violating. So, here’s my advice.
Be clear
If your ex is trying to weasel his way back into your life, be clear with him once and then stick to your guns. For example, if he won’t stop texting you, send him a final text that says something along the lines of, “This is the last text I’m going to send you. This relationship is over and I’d appreciate if you’d stop texting me. I’m going to block you and will not be able to respond to your texts moving forward.” And then really go ahead and block him. You also need to be clear with your friends and family. Make sure they’re not giving him the wrong signals by telling him to continue to pursue you. They won’t know exactly how done you are with him unless you flat-out tell them.
Document what he does
If he continues to make contact after your final clear communication, start documenting what he does. Screen grab texts. Make a list of phone calls. Save letters. Whatever you do, though, don’t engage. You’ve made yourself as clear as possible with the previous step, so restating your point won’t help the situation. You can’t force somebody to listen to you. So, just keep a record of everything because you’re going to need it for the next step.
Take action and get help
If you don’t feel safe, abort the record keeping step and skip straight to this one. But, if his contact is more annoying that anything else, once you have a record of what he’s doing, you can got moving. First, you may want to change your number and block him from any and all social media outlets. Because you can’t block him if he gets a new screen name, you might want to make your feeds private for a while. Stay at a friend’s house or arrange for a long trip. And if it gets really bad, you of course should go to the authorities. This is where your record keeping will come in helpful. With the right evidence, the police can help you with protection through restraining orders or a lawyer (or even just a lawyer friend with fancy letterhead) can help you send a cease and desist. Don’t be afraid to take protecting yourself to the next level. After all, this is your well being we’re talking about.
Good luck shaking this ex. Really sorry you’re going through this. Just know that the problem is all him and nothing you’ve brought on yourself. You can get through this and meet a man who’s obsessed with you in the right way. I promise!
