Marisa's Man-ual

How to take a risk to find great love

Couple at sunset on the beachI am not a game player. I actually despise the game players. Just like I despise the actions of women who think they are too good to walk thru a door that a man holds open for them—I’ll be sure to circle back to that one in another column. I think that game players are immature and set a horrible example for what people THINK dating should be.

Indifference. NO!  Act indifferent and you will live an indifferent life.

Some common dating tips that I have heard from women, are such things like:

“Act like you don’t care.”

“Pretend you are super busy having the time of your life.”

“Don’t text him more words than he text you and so forth.”

When in actuality, you are at home so bored you could just die and rip all your hair out,   No, no, no, no ,no, no, no!

Do you even hear yourself right now?

Don’t text him more words than he text you?!?!?

What the hell is this, kindergarten!?

“Don’t let him use your blue crayon unless he is going to give you his hot pink crayon AND his washable glue stick that turns blue when it dries.”  Seriously?

This is real life people—not a dress rehearsal.

This is the NOW. We are in REAL TIME.

Will you even be here tomorrow or next month to tell whoever it is you love that you really actually in fact do love them and want to marry them? Just think about that for a quick second.

What if you never got the chance to tell that someone how you really feel because of whatever reason it may be…you’re scared, embarrassed, shy, feel stupid, have too much pride.

Well girlfriend, there’s no time like the present and you know what I always say, “No guts, no glory.” Maybe, just maybe he can’t get you off of his mind too.

Maybe, just maybe, he is feeling the same way and was too scared to do anything about it because he doesn’t want to get rejected.

Men try and act tough, but we all know deep down that they are all just big oversized babies that need taken care of.

Girls, we all have the 6th sense. You know, the one in your gut that your mom is always telling you about?  Well, this is one of those times when you should be utilizing this 6th sense.

Now, if the guy has already made it very crystal clear that the only chance of you two getting back together is when flowers flourish through hell freezing over, well, then that is a whole different story in itself.

In that case, you need to move on.  Point blank.

There will be someone else for you and it just means that your soul and his soul were not meant to be entangled for the rest of eternity, and that is ok.

That just means you are that much closer to finding the one soul who you ARE supposed to be entangled with for eternity–how exciting is that? He is still out there. So go get him!

Back to my other muffins—you know in your heart/gut if there still might be some feelings there between you and a past/present lover. So go for it. Why the hell not?

Great risk, equals great love. How are you ever gonna get a hit if you never swing?!

Sometimes the second time around is a charm. What do you have to lose? Hmmm…try, nothing! Except your pride, but who really cares about pride anyway.  Pride, schmide.  If all fails, you will recover.

Promise. Great risk, equals great love. How are you ever gonna get a hit if you never swing?!

Now sure, I’m not saying show up at his house unannounced like a crazy person in the middle of the night, screaming up to his balcony for all to hear.

Just be real with him and even more importantly, be real with yourself.

I know it’s hard to believe sometimes, but guys have feelings too.  Weird, right? I know. Sometimes I feel like they are just a whole different species altogether.

I am sure that we have all had a slice or two of the push and pull, Tom and Jerry, cat and mouse game.

It’s just exhausting and to be honest, utterly pointless. You should be able to keep your relationship fun, exciting and spicy WITHOUT having to torture each other through emotional pain.

If the only excitement you have is the latter one, perhaps you should sit down and ask yourself if having an energy sucking relationship is sufficient for your needs and wants out of this life.

Sure, maybe when you are in kindergarten up thru high school, play your games.  But when you get to be to the age of where you are legally able to rent a car, the games seriously need to stop. Unless you just don’t want to have a serious anything in your life, then keep on keeping on as you are.

If acting interested scares him away, then guess what? Say bye-bye to mister WRONG.  And be sure to thank him when the door hits his ass on the way out.  He just saved you a lot of time and probably a lot of tears.  Let’s keep the games to Chutes & Ladders, shall we?