The Cringe – I Actually Dated… HIM

baddateWe’ll go ahead and blame youth and inexperience on this, but have you ever sat back and looked at an ex you don’t even have an ounce of feelings for on facebook and think (why you even looked you have no clue)…”wait a minute… I dated him… like, actually dated him…”. You start to feel like that took place in a different lifetime or alternate universe. You go to take a good hard look in the mirror and believe that there is no physical possible way the girl staring back at you actually is the same girl that dated said guy. Not to be catty, but now he just seems like suchhhh a loser and you can’t even believe that for a period of time he was your everything.

When you truly 100% move on from and ex, looking back on that relationship can be, well, scary. You seemed like completely a different person participating in events and activities you wouldn’t be caught dead doing now. Sure, you were younger, and less experienced back then, but shit, really? HIM?!

As you look around with flushed cheeks and slightly sweaty palms you realize that the old photos from your family holiday party aren’t lying to you. This isn’t a scary facade. This relationship is the reality you once lived in.

Your mind starts to go into a full on tailspin about this (now yucky) relationship. A guy who 5 minutes before Facebook interrupted your day, you had put zero thought into is now flooding your mind with memories that all of the sudden are SO clear. You remember things you used to do together, fights you had, relationship milestones, etc… You even think about annoying habits he had, which you once found endearing and now could not seem douchier.

While you’re on this unwelcomed visit down memory lane, you think about your hookups. (Insert extra rosy cheeks here). It’s like a personal train wreck in your mind. You don’t want to think about it, but you literally cannot stop. “I can’t believe we did that.”, “He really thought I liked that”,”OMG EW!” are common thoughts. After a quick shudder, you have officially shaken it out of your mind.

As you still sit looking at his page, you realize what you kind of knew all along that he reaallly sucked. Even through your icks, you understand why you felt so “in” this relationship. But with a grown up attitude and a fresh outlook, you realize you were never really that into it. It was never a good fit.

Fear naught, there is a silver lining! The brilliant beauty of the cringing feeling of, “how could I have ever dated him?” is that it is proof of how far you’ve grown up! Look no farther when second guessing your maturity over the last few years, here it is. Your opinion and intelligence have moved you past the stage in your life that this guy fit into, so its no wonder it never worked out.

So you can let this be a feeling that gives you the icks or you can take it for what it is, you dated some loser when you were dumb and didn’t know better. Thank God he crossed your path in your youth and not when you’d consider marriage!! Embrace the icks and laugh that YES that absolutely did happen.

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