The Men's Room - Love and Relationship Advice From a Man For Women

Inside Your Dating Bubble

I live in Los Angeles, and in Los Angeles right now there’s this gigantic real estate bubble going on.

Prices are through the roof again. Prices have been so hot you don’t even know what to do. You have to sit on the sidewalk, and you wait.

You wait for the prices to go down, fill your life with other things, see what’s going to happen. Kind of sounds like dating.

Inside Your Dating Bubble

Inside Your Dating Bubble

There’s a dating bubble that exists.

I’ve been noticing it a lot.

A friend of mine wanted set up another friend of ours.

He knew some really great women that he thought would be fantastic for him to get to know.

My friend, who is open minded, was all for it.

But then it didn’t work out. They never even met. My friend was disappointed.

You see there’s a dating bubble that exists.

It’s a bubble that gets you absolutely nowhere. It actually keeps you from making progress in your dating life.

A lot of people are so busy in their bubble.

They desperately want to meet somebody — they’re really open to meeting somebody, or they think they are until they actually have the opportunity to meet somebody.

We’ve become a culture of isolated people that stays safe inside our bubbles. What are our bubbles?

Well, the first thing we use is work. It’s always work that isolates us. Every excuse that I’ve ever heard is always work. I’m at a busy time of year right now. I got deadlines I got to make.

Men have been making these excuses for years.

I know when I lived inside my dating bubble. I made tons of excuses like it the work related excuse.

I’m so busy right now. I just don’t have time.

But in reality…

We stay inside our dating bubble because we’re fearful of actually meeting somebody. We have the fear of connecting. It’s safe inside our little bubble. It really is. It’s safe to be able to say “no” to a potential date.

It makes us feel safe to hide behind work. The reason being is dating takes effort. Dating takes opening up. Dating takes vulnerability, letting go. Spending time and meeting somebody is a very gutsy thing to do.

We’ve become a society that lives inside a dating bubble. We use work, kids, everything else as an excuse not to put it out there again. All these things help to insulate us. We use our phones too. Yes we do.

Think about it.

Every night when we go home, we go home alone. Every night when we go to sleep, we’re holding ourselves to sleep. We’re arranging our pillows in certain ways, and we’re all pretty lonely if we admit it to ourselves.

It’s real to be with someone. It feels so much better to be held. It feels so much better to unwind next to somebody. Watch a movie next to someone. Catch a show. Keep them up to the wee hours of the morning. Whatever it might be.

But when we’re not in a relationship we get so used to being on our own. We get used to our own safe, tiny bubble.

We spend our lives going non-stop, I’m busy right now.

This is my bust season at work.

I don’t have time. I have a schedule to maintain.

I know all the excuses. I’ve done it too. I’ve lived all the excuses, I’ve heard all the excuses and I know what it’s about. It’s because we don’t want to get out of our comfort zone. It’s comfortable inside our bubble.

I’d like to call out the woman inside the bubble, or the man inside the bubble. It’s so comfortable inside this bubble. It’s so comfortable getting lost in our own projects, our own work. But if you’re really honest with yourself, it’s not fun to be alone.

Especially when we get to a certain point in our lives. We know how to do alone really well. We’ve done alone for so

Alone doesn’t get you anywhere. It’s so much better when we share life with somebody else.

So if you’ve been in the dating bubble where you’re isolating yourself in your life, I strongly suggest you let somebody in, even for a cup of coffee.

The bubble is going to protect you from getting hurt. It’s going to protect you from not letting go. It’s going to protect you from whatever you fear the most. But it’s going to keep you from what you desire most. It’s going to keep you from love.

We’ve been put on this planet to give love, to be loved, to open our hearts and to feel.

So I strongly suggest you start managing your life a little better and take the time to meet someone.

All this busy work, all this filling your time by yourself inside your bubble… it’s just an excuse. If you don’t let go of the security inside your bubble, you won’t meet someone.

Somebody amazing could be right around the corner. The one who will fulfill your love wish. There’s room inside your bubble for somebody else. You need to make that room right now.