What to do when he makes you wait by your phone

wait by phoneWaiting for the phone to ring or your text notification to sound or your SnapChat to snip (or whatever SnapChat actually does) is a crappy feeling. You feel helpless and forgotten. Or, at least, I do. I absolutely hate waiting by my phone. It’s the absolute worst part of dating and I’m so over it. Because I feel so much frustration and loneliness when I wait by my phone for a man to call me, I thought it could be helpful to people out there to let you know how I cope. Here’s how.


First, I assess the situation. Is it reasonable for me to expect him to call? How did we end things last time? There’s always a chance that the ball could be in my court. Maybe we’re approaching the fifth date, which I said I would plan. He could be waiting for me to contact him. I know that in some ideal old-timey world the man leads all the time and the woman just sits there and is pursued, but get real. That might happen for the first few dates, but eventually things need to even out and it’s totally OK, and in fact expected, for the woman to initiate communication every now and then. So, go ahead and call if you think it’s your turn.


If you know it’s not your turn to call and he’s just being inconsiderate, I say set up another date with someone else. A new date will give you something to look forward to and remove those tunnel vision glasses zoomed in on your incoming calls. There’s more than one fish in the sea and more than one man who’ll make your phone sing that Beyonce song. (Come on. I’m not the only one here who has the Queen as their ringer, right?)


My biggest advice to myself when I find myself waiting by the phone is to stop. A man who makes you wait by the phone is waving a big red flag at you. He’s saying that he’s not interested enough in you to make you confident in your relationship. And that’s a major deal breaker. So, I say don’t wait for him to call. Stop caring. Get on with your life, don’t wonder when he’s reaching out next and open yourself up to a new possibility. I know it’s easier said than done. Believe me, I know! But, thinking the right thoughts, even if you can’t feel the right emotions immediately, goes a long way in getting over someone.

Get out there, girl! Find someone else who calls and texts exactly when you think he will. That’s the kind of man who deserves to be in your life!