The Men's Room - Love and Relationship Advice From a Man For Women

Is Your First Date A Player Or A Keeper?

A woman decides if her man is a player or keeperIt’s 2014 and time for you to enjoy some better success from your dating life. Let’s see if we can help you avoid the cheats, the players, and the man-boys whose knees tremble at the thought of commitment. Let’s see if we can help you meet a hot, confident, strong, and emotionally evolved man, ready to settle down and commit. Sounds great right? But how can we help you avoid another year of dating let-downs?

Here are 3 ways to screen your first dates, so you can spot the men from the boys and the players from the keepers. Watch out man-boys. Your game is up!

  1. Ask questions BUT in moderation

    First dates are all about getting to know a man as quickly as possible. You want to eliminate any players as early as you can. How can you do that? Simply, by getting him talking about himself. The key to this is asking questions. But here’s the mistake most women make when they ask questions on a first date…They ask too much too quickly and sound like David Letterman. Guys don’t want to feel like you’re interrogating them on a date. Ask a question, let him talk, react and throw a story back at him, and only ask another question after a few minutes. Don’t make them quick-fire questions like he’s in some kind of game-show. You want him to relax, because that’s when he’ll open up and start showing you what he’s all about. So make questions your friend, but use them carefully.

  2. Don’t show your cards too early

    If you like your first date you’ll probably be tempted to start really opening up and telling him all about your deepest hopes and desires. Don’t gush too much, and let him talk first. You see here’s the thing about guys when they’re on a date…They want to sell themselves to you. They want you to like them, and one way guys do this is by copying and mimicking what you say back to you. If you love the theatre, they do too. If you love salsa dancing, they do too. Obviously you want to talk about yourself, but don’t give him too much information to work with upfront. Let him talk about the things he likes to do first, and then open up about yourself.

    Remember you want to get to know the real him, not a false version he wants you to see. Another good reason not to go overboard with your life-story is because men don’t like women who don’t give and take in conversations. Who wants to listen to someone talking about themselves 24/7. Think of it like a game of tennis. He reveals something about himself, then you reveal something about yourself. Don’t make it all one way.

  3. Ask these two qualifying questions

    There are two questions you should ask men on a first date, and these are great, because they give you a ton of information about the kind of guy he is, and whether he’s looking for a relationship or casual sex.The first question is, “Do you see yourself settling down one day?”

    It’s extremely important you say “one day” when you ask that question. If you don’t most guys will think you’re proposing marriage and will freak out. Listen to his answer carefully. If he’s not the commitment type his voice will get instantly higher, and his answer will be flaky. He’ll say something like, “Umm yeah I think, maybe one day, if the right girl game a long probably.”

    This is the answer of a guy who isn’t sure what he wants. If he’s looking for commitment, you’ll get a confident, strong answer. Something like, “Yeah sure.”

    The second question to ask is this…

    “Describe your perfect weekend?”

    Now listen and pay close attention to his answer. A guy who wants a relationship will start his weekend with his girlfriend. He’ll talk about having breakfast in bed with her, before going somewhere together, and doing the fun things couples do together. In his perfect weekend he may talk about going off with his friends, BUT it will be at the end of the weekend. He’ll begin his perfect weekend with his fictional girlfriend.

    A guy who just wants sex will answer the other way around. His weekend will start with a trip to the gym, going out racing with his friends, AND THEN he’ll meet up with his girlfriend for a night out or something. Do you see the difference?

    He talks about his weekend more in the singular, where the relationship-ready guy will include a girlfriend earlier in his weekend. It’s a very subtle clue, but it’s a real give-away. So use these clever screening tips when you’re on a first date, and let’s see if we can make 2014 the year you find love!

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