#AskPatti: Friendship, STDs, online dating & more!

Ask Patti StangerI can’t believe we’re already this far into January! Is it just me, or is 2014 flying already? Before you know it, it’s going to be Valentine’s Day! Speaking of, I’d love to answer any and everything you’ve ever wondered about Valentine’s Day. Would you please tweet your questions at me from now until February 14th with the #AskPatti hashtag and I’ll do my best to get every single one of them answered. Now, onto this week’s questions.

I might need a little more info here. Is this friend continually cutting you down? If that’s the case, get the eff out of that friendship. Not a friendship you need! If your friend simply isn’t giving you compliments, I say kill her with kindness. Start complimenting her a ton. She’ll realize how good it feels and do it back to you, I bet. If she doesn’t, just go ahead and say something about how it would mean a lot to get more compliments from her. A good friend isn’t necessarily a mind reader, but she is someone who will do something easy to make you feel great about yourself.
Oh, girl, I’m so, so sorry. This is such an upsetting story. My basic rule for STD disclosure is to do it before you have any kind of sex with a partner. (And I know you don’t need me to explain what I mean by that, but I will. Vaginal, oral or anal. They all count!) Be honest with yourself—it’s not reasonable to think you’ll be able to discuss something serious like this in the heat of the moment right before your first sexual encounter. So, do it before you actually get intimate. Like I always say, you should wait until monogamy for sex. When you’re ready to commit to a partner, you’ll have a conversation about exclusivity and that’s when you can disclose your STD. By then you’ll have built enough trust to be able to disclose something sensitive like this. Good luck, sister. My heart is with you. And remember, the right guy wouldn’t let something like this stand in the way of a great relationship.
Yay! Finally someone who’s asking a question about how to online date and not how to avoid it. If you’re single, you def should be online dating. As for which ones are best, that’s really personal. I say try a few and see which ones work for you. To get you started, some ones that I like are CoffeeMeetsBagel—which is great because it sends you a match based on your Facebook friends every day—HowAboutWe—I love the focus on fun, out of the normal first dates—and Tinder—because it’s so easy to get chatting. Good luck!
I’m all for celebrating your body in any shape or form. And if that’s what women are intending to do when they post these pics, more power to them. Something about the “bikini bridge” trend doesn’t strike me as 100% celebratory, though. It seems very similar to the “thigh gap” trend, which really is about obsessing over the “perfect” body. Striving for some unattainable idea is not my idea of celebrating the beautiful natural state of the female body.

That’s all for this week, love. Tweet ya later!