Patti's Blog

Finding love after 40

Falling in love after 40: It happens and I can tell you from experience that it’s amazing! There’s something really fantastic about falling in love when you’re mature, secure, and sure of yourself. It feels more solid and there are fewer games. You know what you want and so does he. This doesn’t mean that it’s easy. It’s far from it. (Anyone remember my dating life on the last season of Millionaire Matchmaker? Not the easiest.) Here are a few pointers to keep in mind if you’re post-40 and looking for love. Hopefully they make the heart hunting process easier for you.

Accept baggage

Falling in love when you’re older might mean falling in love with a bit more than just your guy — It’s probably going to mean falling in love with his baggage, too. Mature men have experienced a lot of life. That means they’re surer of what they want. It also means they may have an ex-wife or kids. So, think of his ex as just a trial run for your relationship. Practice makes perfect! And kids of any age can be an amazing addition to a relationship. Be open to the extras a man your age might come with and you’ll be surprised at how they open up to you, too.

Be aggressive

If you’re a woman over 40 and looking for love, you can’t just sit back on your couch and expect it to find you. Contrary to what the stereotypes of adult movies might have you believe, Mr. Right is never going to waltz his way into your living room as your pizza boy or a plumber. You have to go out and find him, honey! Be aggressive in looking for dates. Get online. Be sure your friends know that you’re open to set-ups. Flirt with strangers. You’ve got to make this happen for yourself. B-E Agressive! Be aggressive!

Ignore his birthday

When you’re a 40 plus woman looking for your one-and-only, you’ve got to be open to men of all ages. Don’t ignore that hottie at the coffee shop because you know he’s only 38. I know we’re trained to date older men, but guess what? The young ones have a lot to offer, believe me. David is younger than I am and I can’t even imagine my life now if I skipped over his dating profile because he was a little younger. I would have missed out on the most amazing man of my life. And let’s toss the word “cougar.” Dating a mature, responsible, all around wonderful man who’s a few (or maybe even more than a few) years younger than you doesn’t make you a cougar in the negative sense. It makes you a woman in love. And that’s a fabulous thing to be. If someone wants to call it a cougar, fine. Ladies, we’re looking better than ever!

How old were you when you fell in love with your guy? I’d especially love to hear from women who fell in love after 40! Mature mamas who are new lovebirds, let me hear it!