Wouldn’t it be great if romance were like cookies? You took all the right ingredients, whipped them up, baked for 10 minutes and had a perfect outcome. Or better yet, how about my style of baking? Slice, bake and voila — love! Well, you probably don’t need an expert to tell you love isn’t that easy. I’ve helped thousands of people find love, and even I don’t have a silver bullet recipe for romance. There are so many X factors, like timing and spark, that a recipe isn’t realistic. However, there are key ingredients you need for love that’s going to last. Without any of the below main ingredients, your relationship is going to flop like a souffle in the humidity. (See? You’d be surprised what I know about baking!)
For love to really work when the rubber meets the road, you two need to be compatible on basic levels. A successful couple has the same outlook on finances, similar levels of spirituality and a shared take on parenting, among many other biggies. If you’re synched up on what’s important, you two are good to go. If you’re not, the second your relationship is strained, it’s going to tear at the seams.
If I’ve learned one thing as a matchmaker, it’s that there’s going to be a spark — and there’s absolutely no predicting which couples spark and which don’t. You can lead two beautiful, gym-toned horses to water, but you can’t make them drool over each other. If the spark isn’t there, walk away. If it is, take advantage and use it to power your relationship.
The number one relationship killer is jealousy. Nothing can smother a spark like phone snooping, suspicion and interrogations about time spent apart. You need to trust your man, and he needs to trust you. I know this sounds naive, but I say trust a man until he gives you a reason not to. Start with 100 percent trust, and you have this romance ingredient already in the mix.
Sure a couple is two people, but you’re often acting as one person. And as much as you want to believe that you’ll always be on the same page, even the most compatible couples are sometimes on different pages. In different books. In different libraries. You two need to be able to disagree respectfully and compromise on solutions without huge fights or drama.
You have to laugh. There’s no way around it. A relationship without laughter is a relationship not worth having. Have fun. Tickle each other. Flirt. Be in love and be happy. A relationship means that you’re with your favorite person in the world. Smile about it, for Christ’s sake!
A cup of chocolate chips
I mean, it just never hurt any recipe I’ve ever made.