Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. I’d love to wax poetic about how romantic the holiday is, and I do think it is, but the truth is most people view Valentine’s Day with dread and anxiety. And even though I’m a total softy and romantic at heart, I can’t blame them! Valentine’s Day is fraught with emotion, expectation and, all too often, disappointment. So, the big question is…to avoid the negative parts of Valentine’s Day, should you just straight up tell your man what you want on Valentine’s Day? Some people will tell you no, but I’m going to say a big old YES! Yeah, you should tell your fellow what would make you happy on Valentine’s Day. Here’s why.
He’s not a mind reader
Your man is a lot of things, but I’m guessing he’s not a psychic. (If he is, then I guess just skip this paragraph. Actually, skip this whole post! It doesn’t apply to you.) Even if he is the person who knows you best in the entire world and you’ve been together for umpteen years, there is no way he knows 100% of what you’re thinking and feeling. So, instead of expecting the impossible from him, why not give him a break and let him know what would make your Valentine’s Day as special as possible? Sometimes you need to teach people how to show their love for you in the way you appreciate most. Just because they needed that lesson, it doesn’t mean their love for you is any less or greater.
Who cares if the nice thing your dude does for you is a surprise or not? I sure don’t. I just care that he did it. The not knowing about it before it happens isn’t the important part of a romantic gesture. The effort and emotion behind it are. Guessing what you want and surprising you with it is just the same as knowing what you want and giving it to you exactly how you expect it. He still wants to make you feel great, which is all that counts! So, don’t value surprise as much and your Valentine’s Day will be a much happier and emotionally healthier holiday.
Romance is as romance does
Yeah, I don’t quite get what that means either. But, it worked when Forrest Gump’s mom said it. So, I’m assuming it works here. Basically, you get to decide what’s romantic to you. Just because Hallmark and Kay Jewelers and romantic comedies tell us that in order to be our soul mate, a man has to know our deepest desires before we do and surprise us with special treats to be romantic, that doesn’t mean that it’s the truth. You can decide that your system of telling him what you want and then him giving it to you is romantic. And guess what? It really is! You’re not cheating here. You’re just taking back the definition of romance. Empowering, right?
So, happy Valentine’s Day to everyone. And in case you’re wondering what I want for Valentine’s Day, I’ll tell you! A home cooked meal and a big box of dark chocolate would make my V-Day complete. Anyone going to make it happen for me?