If you practice any one of these relationship strategies, you are going to get into one damaging relationship after another.
And I call them strategies, but in reality, they are really things you need to avoid in order to have a healthy relationship. Because if you have any of these qualities, you are definitely not going to have a very healthy mutually satisfying love relationship.
1. Always thinking about your mate.
Difficulty concentrating on other things. When you are thinking about your mate and having difficulty concentrating on other things, your are literally in an anxious mode all the time.
And sometimes, yes, that’s a beautiful thing to be able to think about somebody. It’s wonderful to be able to think about how much you love them and what you feel about them, but if it causes you anxiety and you can’t concentrate on other things, you are in an unhealthy relationship.
When I think about somebody I am with, it makes me feel more powerful. It makes me feel empowered. It makes me feel loves, and I am easily able to concentrate even better on things. That’s healthy.
2. You are in a tumultuous relationship, and all you think about is only their good qualities.
You are in a relationship where you are under the illusion of the person, instead of who the person truly is. If you are only remembering their good qualities, it’s kind of like reminiscing about the good old days, except the good old days aren’t really as good as they appeared to be.
Stay present, and see somebody for who they are, exactly.
3. Putting them on a pedestal.
Any time you put anybody on a pedestal, you underestimate your own values and abilities, while at the same time you are over estimating theirs.
You are not on an equal playing field, and when you are not on an equal playing field, the relationship is not a relationship that is going to thrive. It’s just a relationship that is going to survive.
4. Feeling anxious when you are not with them.
When you feel anxious when you are not with them, and then when you are in contact with them the anxious feeling goes away, you are not, in once again, a mutually beneficial relationship, because if you are feeling anxious at all times, you are actually insecure in that relationship.
And if you only feel secure when you are around them, you are not in a secure, mature, loving relationship.
You need to dig deeper and realize that there are a lot of things that are probably missing in that relationship, and it’s time for an emotional reboot.
5. Believing this is your only chance for love.
If you are in a relationship that is not great, and you don’t want to be single, but you also believe that this is your only chance for love, because you have the story in your mind that you are only compatible with very few people… What are the chances you will find another person like him?
You have a self-defeating relationship pattern. If you are anxious, and you are not really in a great relationship, what does it matter if you are not going to meet someone like him or her again? You don’t we want to meet somebody like him or her again.
You want to learn from those lessons. You want to be able to figure out why you are with this type of person, and you want to be able to grow. The universe has endless love affairs waiting for you. You need to just change your mindset around it.
6. Believing that even though you are unhappy, you better not let go.
You feel that if they leave you, they’ll turn into a great partner for someone else.
Well then, great!
Maybe they are a better fit for somebody else. So allow them to be a great partner for whomever they’re a fit for.
See, there something else that I learned as I look at some of my ex’s with their current boyfriends. They are the exact same way they were with me. They didn’t fit with me, they fit better with somebody else, and it’s okay.
People don’t change unless they are working on themselves. So if you are waiting for somebody to change, you might as well just write your entire life away.
And, all couples have problems. We are not so special in that regard. Everybody has problems and issues, but it’s a matter of how you work through them.
If you are constantly struggling to work through things with the person you are with, you are with the wrong person. So, it’s time to really understand that you need to go and find somebody who is going to be a better fit for you.
Hopefully these strategies will help you realize that you are in a relationship with the wrong partner.