Culture

Five First Date Fears You Have to Get Over

first-date-at-cafe

Picture the scene.

An attractive woman arrives at a restaurant ready to meet a blind date. Stepping into the candlelit room she is greeted with a smile and little quip that puts her at ease. It’s baking hot outside, but cool where they sit.  Her date feeds her morsels while smoothly ordering champagne. She laughs till her sides ache then they kiss.

In the real world of first dates, there are sadly a few obstacles thrown in our paths to panic or disrupt the romantic tone. Do you tend to sweat profusely when nervous? Do you freeze up on the spot and find yourself grappling for chat? Do you worry they can see your flaws?

Whatever your hang up, my advice is to get over it – and fast. The most attractive thing is confidence, so just style it out.

 

5 fears to get over:

 

1. Bright Lighting

Who needs airbrushed make-up when you have a dark bar? If the idea of a date in a brightly lit room terrifies you, you need to get some perspective. Attraction is based on more than perfect skin and bright eyes, it’s in the rapport, the laughs and the chemistry. If they want to find a flaw, they will. If they are willing it to work, they will airbrush you anyway. Beside, who wants to wait for the grand reveal in the morning?

2. Eating in front of them

Sure, it can be awkward eating on dates. But not if you pick the right place. Everyone loves a ‘small plate’, so pick a joint where you can just sip on wine and pick on bitesize portions. Less mess, more potential for feeding each other.

3. Drinking (too much)

In general, the rule is to not get drunk and end up dragging the date into the early morning. That said, providing you’re able to get that taxi home alone (even after 3 glasses) it can be a quick way to filter through masks and actually get to know someone. You also get the chance to see if they have that vital characteristic – FUN.

4. Being funny

GSOH (Good Sense of Humor) is a ridiculous term that belongs on antiquated dating profiles. Everyone wants to be, or be with, funny. However, if stressed out about being amusing on a date, your anecdotes will come across as try hard or fall on deaf ears. Try to relax into the date and if you happen to make them laugh just once, you’ve proven yourself. It might not be at a joke, it might just be at your mannerisms, but a laugh is a laugh.

5. Putting out

Yes it’s much harder to convert a first to a second date if you give up the goods too quickly. But ask yourself if you’re looking for fun, or commitment. Vitally, picture how you’ll feel creeping out of their bed the next morning, without the offer of brunch. If the answer is ‘fine’, then go for it – that’s your design. Contrary to popular belief, both men and women are capable of stress free hook-ups.

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