The Men's Room - Love and Relationship Advice From a Man For Women

What To Do When You Run Into An Ex

There’s a strange thing that we as adults do.

When we run into someone like an ex-flame, we go back to playing the game that we used to play as children: Hide And Go Seek.

Or maybe you just ignore the person.

Or say hello and scramble out the door as quickly as possible to avoid any type of human interaction with that person.

It’s funny actually, but also quite sad in a way.

Whenever the relationship ended, whether it’s a month-long relationship, year-long relationship, two-year relationship, it never ends well for at least one person.

I know that, personally, I’m no good at ending relationships.

I tend to never have the final talk. We just tend to do the drift and fade away, which I think is definitely a character flaw on my part.

I’ve always been very authentic with my own feelings and I’ve always been very authentic with feelings that I’m feeling in the moment.

But when it comes down to dating, there’s a lot of fading away.

It’s something we all tend to do.

One person tends to find somebody else. One person tends to just kind of lose whatever momentum they had.

And now, you can actually go back and look at the documentation of it.

A lot of the times what happened is that one person reached out.

It took them a little longer.

The other person reached back and the other person reached back out. And then the other person never got back to that person, which happens quite a lot.

But then when you run into that person, you feel angry. You feel upset.

They feel a lack of commitment, connection, or whatever it might be, and they act like they didn’t do anything to participate in it when, actually, both participated. When one person is fading away, the other person might not know what to do or how to say it.

They might both be fading away.

Nobody likes to hurt somebody else’s feelings, so it’s easier to do the fade-away.

It’s easier to ignore the hurt, ignore the hurt you feel or the hurt you caused someone else to feel.

But here’s the reality…

The reality is that person’s going to meet somebody fantastic, and so are you. You’re going to meet somebody fantastic, and you’re never truly going to remember the moments you really spent together anyway.

Because in life we always move forward.

So when you see somebody for the first time after not really speaking to them for awhile, the last thing you want to do is duck and run.

Obviously, they may not have handled it correctly.

You may not have handled it correctly.

But that’s no reason to run away, to play Hide and Go Seek.

This is the time when the universe puts the two of you together in a space you’re meant to have whatever conversation you should have. You’re being given one final chance to have that conversation.

So have that conversation, and who knows? You might even realize that, the time you met, neither one of you were ready for it.

Maybe the universe put the two of you together in that space at that time to maybe connect and talk, speak, and feel.

What might have been there might still be there.

Or it might not. But, it might still be a good time to clear the air.

As I always say, we’re not perfect as human beings.

We don’t always handle everything perfectly.

We’re going to hurt one another in the moment.

It’s hard at times to avoid it. Nobody’s perfect. And nobody should be perfect.

We all handle things the way we handle things, even though we may know how to handle things better than that.

We all make mistakes because we are just human beings having human experiences.

So I strongly suggest this the next time you see somebody who you once dated:
Talk to Them!

Because the universe is giving you the opportunity to clear the air, to connect again, and to do whatever you needed to do with that person one last time.

And maybe you reconnect. Maybe the relationship actually goes somewhere… somewhere it hadn’t been before.

You never know. And by running and hiding, you’ll never find out either.

When you run and hide, it’s an egotistical thing.

Your ego is very upset that this person hurt you.

But in life, sometimes you just need to drop the ego.

The universe gave you a gift to talk to this person again. And if the person is open to talking to you, don’t run from it.

Speak your mind.

Speak on how you feel and see what happens.

Hide and go seek is for kids. Ditch and run are for when we used to go and ring the doorbell and run away.

But adults? Adults face things, and the universe is giving you the opportunity to face something.

Yes, it’s scary. And it may or may not be easy for you do.

But then again, what truly amazing things in life are easy?