The Men's Room - Love and Relationship Advice From a Man For Women

The Number One Reason Why You Need To Thank Your Exes

I’m going to go radical on you today.

I’m going to give you the number one reason why you need to actually thank your exes.

First, I’m going to share a story with all of you that you may have heard if you’ve read or listened to me over the years.

When I was 19, my ex-girlfriend (or at this point, probably my quadruple ex-girlfriend, about 52 exes ago) broke up with me.

She was a beautiful little blonde. Her name was Chris, and she was, at that time, the love of my life.

I was convinced that I was going to marry her in 7.5 years and have children with her.

She was my high school sweetheart, but she broke up with me right before senior year ended.

We got back together that summer, and she broke up with me again before college.

And then we got back together one summer between freshman and sophomore year, and she broke up with me one more time.

She gave me the greatest lesson, along with my mother.

What was that lesson? Glad you asked.

That lesson was love.

My mother was absolutely crazy, but sometimes she came up with some gems, and the story that I’m about to tell you is one of the greatest gems you’ll ever hear.

I was crying in my room after Chris broke up with me. I was going to go back to college the next day after driving from D.C. that morning. I wanted to get out of there and start my sophomore year.

I wanted to go and meet a new girl, and I wanted to finally get rid of this feeling I was having. Being broken up with for the third time is not exactly fun. My mother, who was supposed to be out in the Hamptons with my family, was home.

She went in my room. She looked at me and she said, “David, I’m going to give you the best advice you’ll ever hear.

As much as Chris loves you, there’s somebody out there who’s going to love you more. So thank her for the wonderful experience that you shared with her, and because of this experience, you are going to be open than ever before.”

I don’t remember the exact words, and the story tends to change a little bit as I grow. But the real meaning is that there was somebody out there who was going to love me more, and it helped me throughout my entire life and existence.

During my 20s and 30s and 40s I dated people. I lived with them, I married them, and when it didn’t work out, I realized that each opportunity they presented to me was another opportunity for me to love and to grow as a human being, as a soul. And I thanked every single person for that experience that I shared with them.

Was I ever broken up with? Absolutely. Was my heart broken? Absolutely.

But what I learned from every experience was…

I truly appreciated everybody showing from my life, because each woman that showed up showed me something different about myself.

Some of them triggered me.

But some of them got rid of my triggers.

Some of them taught me life lessons that I needed to learn.

Some of them showed me that I don’t need to compromise. I can really, truly meet the person I want.

They all had valuable, unbelievable lessons for me.

And every single one of them showed up for that reason.

It’s taken a long time for me to finally embrace all my lessons, but I can tell you with a clear and open heart and mind, that I am truly ready to co-create something absolutely spectacular with somebody.

I am so ready to co-create. I’m so ready to show up in love. And I’m so ready to be the most amazing partner I can be for somebody else.

I’m ready to express my own needs, wants, and desires, and not only be the pleasing one in the relationship.

I’m ready to go somewhere sexually I’ve never been before, to connect as two souls have never connected.

And it’s all because of the lessons my exes taught me.

Because of all the wonderful people that have showed up in my life. I wish every single one of them would read this today (and who knows, maybe they will), because this is a thank you for showing up in my life.

Thank you for co-creating with me in the time we co-created.

And thank you for allowing me the freedom to go and become the man that I look at now with pride and admiration.

And what I’d like to impart to you is, you need to thank your exes.

First and foremost because you cannot be open to love if you have not moved on from your past.

But also, because your exes all showed you valuable lessons so you can finally show up for somebody and co-create a spectacular relationship that you’ve always wanted.

I’d like for all of you today to give thanks to everybody you’ve been with. And if you still have stories holding you back about these people, I strongly suggest you work through this stuff, or the universe will give you the same lesson over again.