What to do when he starts sexting you

Ever had a guy you’ve been flirting with take it a little too far? I think every woman’s been there. The coffee shop guy who gives you extra whipped cream every morning asks for your number. Or the guy at work you have lunch with sometimes asks to take you out for drinks. Or maybe it’s a guy at a bar who gets a little handsy way before you’re comfortable with it. It’s just something that happens between men and women. And with cell phones part of the norm, these little misfires are becoming more common on text. So here’s what to do when a guy takes your flirty text relationship to the next level and starts sexting with you.

Decide how comfortable you are

Sexting isn’t all bad, and if you’re into this level of digital sexiness, more power to you. Sexting can be exciting and fun and spice things up when you two aren’t able to be together. You go, girlfriend! (If I could, I’d insert a sexy Emoji right here.) But if sexting is something you’re not comfortable with, of course that’s fine too. Just take some time to figure out what makes sense with your comfort level.

Set boundaries

Once you’ve figured out what you’re comfortable with text-wise, communicate it to your texting partner. Of course, this doesn’t have to be a manifesto that you tap out, detailing scripts of what he can and can’t text you. Writing a simple, “Not cool,” when he crosses over the line should set the record straight. And if he keeps pushing your digital boundaries once you’ve set them, he’s a scummy guy who you definitely don’t want to be in touch with via text or in person. Move on.

Do not send nudies

No matter what, don’t send nudie shots back to your guy. I know that it’s tempting, and I know that you’re super hot, and I know that you totally trust him, but just don’t. Even if you 100 percent trust him, do you trust the guy in the back of the cab who finds his phone when he loses it? I think I made my point. Keep the naked time to when you’re actually together.

Be sure in person you’re cool

Make sure whatever you sext about is stuff that you would do or say in person. I know it’s easy to get way naughtier than normal when all you have to do is type and not make eye contact with your partner. Eventually though, you are going to have to look him in the eye. So be sure that nothing you’re doing on text will make you uncomfortable or awkward when you see him in person.