The science behind attraction: What draws you to someone?

How many times has your best friend, the person you know the best in the whole wide world, fallen for someone you never expected? For me, I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count. And if we’re being honest here, there have been times that I’ve fallen for guys I never would have picked for myself. Attraction is a funny thing like that. There are some key factors that you can count on, but there’s also a lot of mystery involved. If you’re looking to lessen your future shock factor, you might want to know some of the key elements behind attraction. So here they are.

Physical looks

It’s no secret that looks play a huge role in attraction. After all, you have to find a person attractive to be attracted to him. That’s not to say that if you’re not George Clooney, you’re never getting laid. Of course that’s not that case. But, well, George Clooney and George Clooney-lookalikes probably get laid a lot more often than Steve Urkel and his lookalikes. You get me?


Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m not talking about the size of that. That’s for another post, ladies! I’m talking about general size. And this goes both ways, male and female. Women are attracted to men bigger and taller than themselves. And men are attracted to women smaller than themselves. With men looking at women, they’re also attracted to the size of their hips, waist and bust. There’s a ratio thing going on there that will subconsciously make men swoon. And remember I said ratio. So just because you’re a member of the itty-bitty-titty committee, don’t think you’re automatically out of the size attraction.


You know the expression opposites attract? Well, ignore it. Opposites really don’t attract. Being similar to your partner is what makes for a successful long-term relationship. And even with initial attraction, looking the same — similar in upbringing, similar in race and similar in style — makes for a stronger attraction. You’re more likely to fall for someone who looks more like you.


And here’s the bullet point where science and statistics can take a back seat. There’s a x-factor in attraction that just can’t be quantified. For example, you can be attracted to someone’s energy or their confidence or their presence. And reading signs like this is why I know I’ll always have a job. There’s no way a machine or formula can read x-factor the way I can. And even though I’m occasionally surprised, I’m more right than wrong. Way more right!