We’ve all heard the horror stories about how married people do not have sex, but recent studies have shown that this is not the case. According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, which surveyed nearly six-thousand people in 2010, those who have put a ring on it are getting it on more than single people are. Not only are married couples getting laid more, but the sex has more variation, says sexual health expert Dr. Laura Burman.
According to the study, that includes more oral sex than those who are unattached. In fact, 61 percent of the singles in the survey have not had sex in over a year. So much for the idea that being single means you’re getting laid.
Married ladies: You’re not the 61 percent
It’s not rocket science to figure out that it becomes harder to have sex when seeing each other a few times a week turns into seeing each other every single day, for the rest of your life. It’s not necessarily because there’s something wrong with you or him or your union. It’s a lot easier to set aside whatever life and work issues you both have going on when it’s just for a few hours on a date. And, of course, if you’ve been dating while but know you wont see each other the rest of the week, you know it’s your only shot at snapping up a little sex. In that case, of course you’ll step up to the plate!
On the flip side, it can be a challenge to drop work or life stresses at the door when you’re together all the time — and that can make it harder to be motivated to get busy in the bedroom. If “not tonight” has turned into “not at all,” don’t instantly assume there’s something wrong with the relationship or that the two of you find each other any less desirable. Chances are, you’ve just gotten a little lazy. Here’s the thing: 25 percent of married couples between ages 25 and 59 still have sex two and three times per week. In the same category, only five percent of singles get busy that often.
It’s time to be the 25 percent
Put away the habit of staying in every night and start to act like you’re dating at least one night a week. Put on something you feel sexy in, a hot dress or something that plays up a favorite body part. Go out to dinner. Most of all, when you get home, make it a point to have sex. It’s just like exercise — if you’re not in the mood at first, you’ll start to snap into it after a few minutes and be glad you did.
Long-term, keep in mind that it’s also a lot easier to feel satisfied overall when you’re experiencing intimacy and bonding on a regular basis, as couples do when they’re living together and sleeping together.