What I say to people who think money doesn’t matter

As originally posted on

04_money-mattersI’m the Millionaire Matchmaker and my business started matching wealthy men with women who were interested in marrying them. Now, it’s expanded to include wealthy women looking for love, too. And I know that doesn’t rub everyone the right way because people are pretty loud about it. I hear things like, “It’s gross to be so focused on money,” “money doesn’t matter,” and “someone’s finances shouldn’t make them more or less attractive.” I hear it from TV producers, family members, potential clients and even randos when I’m out for brunch. Here’s what I say when I get these kind of comments.

Happiness is easier

Having money has a lot of benefits. Of course, there are problems that come with wealth, too. And money can’t buy happiness, that’s for certain. But, also certainly, money can make happiness easier to find. You can focus on things that make you happy a lot more if your attention isn’t divided by financial stress. Finances are a huge reason couples break up and not having to fight about money or worry about bills makes it a lot easier to feel comfortable in your life. Money isn’t the direct means to happiness, but being broke sure does make it harder to get on the right path.

Ambition and smarts

Financial success if often tied to ambition and smarts. And, of course you want to partner with someone who’s ambitious and smart. Money can be an indicator of that. Are there very wealthy people who have oodles of money for no discernable reason? Yeah, of course there are. But, I don’t really focus on that type of person in my matchmaking. And are there people out there with all of the ambition and intelligence you can fit into a human body who haven’t struck it rich? Yep. Those folks exist, too. I’m not saying money is the clear and only infallible indicator of drive and intelligence. But, it can be correlated to those things. So, looking for it isn’t a bad thing.

You’re right

When people tell me that money doesn’t matter when it comes to love, I’ll often tell them that they’re right. They’re right for themselves. But, clearly their opinion isn’t right for me and for the very happy clients I cater to. We don’t judge the criteria you use for finding your boo. Why are you spending so much time judging ours? Let us be us and be happy being you. Write your love story the way you want to and let us write ours.

The bottom line is that you shouldn’t feel ashamed if money is important to you in your search for your boo. And if it’s not, then you shouldn’t shame people who think the other way. Can we all agree on that?