The Men's Room - Love and Relationship Advice From a Man For Women

The Pettiness Problem

A woman contemplates whether he boyfriend is not right for herToday I want to talk about what it is to be petty, and how it affects the people around you. I want to share a story with you that happened to a good friend of mine:

His name is Brett. You can thank him for the magical words that come across this screen every single day. Without Brett, my grammar would be somewhere in between Britney Spears and Snoop Dogg.

Brett had to go in for some surgery. Don’t worry ladies. He’s okay, but I’m sure he’d appreciate some love from you. You can send an e-mail to my e-mail address and I’ll pass it along to him.

Brett and I have been friends for 45 years. There was a good 20- 25-year stretch, where we didn’t see each other. But we were best buds in sixth, seventh and eighth grade, and we’re best buds now.

His ex, who he shares a beautiful son with, offered to buy him coffee and bring it over.

Brett’s a Starbucks guy. He loves a good cup of coffee in the morning before digging in to the dating world of David Wygant. His ex brings the cup of coffee over and says:

“I can’t believe its $4.50 for this.”

Every sip of that coffee grew bitterer in his mouth. Pettiness is a terrible trait to have. Telling somebody you find a price ridiculous as you pay for dinner makes them feel lousy.

“Gee, thank you for picking up this cup of coffee, should I give you the $4.50 back.”

Or… “Thank you for this dinner. Next time I’m not going to order a dessert because obviously you didn’t enjoy treating me.”

How many times have you got a gift from a petty person and they go on and on about how cheap the gift they’ve given you was?

“Gee, thank you, I’m a double mark down person.”

Or they get you a gift and they said, “This is really expensive, I hope you like it.”

Petty people are the biggest turn-off in the world. I’m sure you’ve dated men like this. They tell you how much something cost, or how expensive the hotel is.

“How will we afford to do anything once we get there?”

They exclaim the price of gas is off the charts as they’re dropping you off at home.

“I’m sorry we don’t live in the same town.”

Pettiness ruins whatever beautiful thing two people have exchanged with each other. Whether it was a gift, a cup of coffee, a vacation, whatever it might be. Being petty with people that you love is really lousy.

When you’re petty with a loved one you’re showing them you don’t care enough about them to spend your time on them.

Let me explain:

You work x amount of hours a year to make y dollars. When you’re spending your y dollars it’s in exchange for x hours worked. When you spend money, you’re really spending your time.

Time is the only thing we have on this earth and we’re given a limited amount of it. A true friend wants to spend time with you.

I understand that for some of you money is tight. But you can plan, before you leave, how much you can spend. You can work with in your limits. And if you can’t spend anything, be honest about it. A true friend will understand.

What you don’t do is make a friend or a child or a partner feel bad about money you chose to spend. Pettiness is the fastest way to scare away a friend. You don’t want to be that guy. The one everyone hesitates to invite out for drink because you’re always complain about the price.

It’s even worst on a date.

You’re trying to have this magical time and get lost in the moment, but all you can think about is, “Was this beer too much? Should I have ordered the chicken?”

How can you connect with a person when you’re mind is preoccupied with money?

So, if you’ve got any pettiness in you, lose it because it’s the ultimate attraction killer.