Kari’s Rules For Dating in NYC – Rule Number One-and-Only

Woman looks for a formula to find loveLately I’ve been hearing more of this from my single friends: “why is he saying this but doing that?” and “how soon is too soon for X, Y, or Z?” and beating themselves up over things that were said, or not said.

Now, I like to think of my self as a Champion Dater of sorts and because of this, I’ve found my friends (and sometimes strangers) considering me their go-to girl for all things dating. This, of course, in addition to my often-unsolicited advice.

That being said, I now feel like I can have a definitive list of rules for courting since I am clearly the Duchess of Dating with my #USoD column. I’ll simply call it:

Kari’s Rules for Dating in NYC.

If we’re being honest, my list only has one rule. But the power it holds takes the place of a thousand other rules, and the title sounds way more click bait-y if you believe there will be infinitely more practical lessons in this column than there actually are.

You won’t believe what this woman says about dating in New York! Number 1 had me in tears! You MUST read this – absolutely THE BEST advice you’ll read… EVER! Trust me!!”

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth after writing that. ::shivers::

Things to keep in mind: I’m not promising a relationship with this rule. I only promise keeping your sanity and having fun on dates while you’re busy making something of yourself in NYC (isn’t that why you came here in the first place?)

After all that build up, are you ready? Here we go:

  1. BE YOURSELF. It’s the most simple fucking rule and if you can’t manage to do that, I will find you and vigorously shake you by your shoulders for a considerable amount of time because SHAME ON YOU you are wonderful and you better goddamn remember that. Got it? Good.

Imagine you’re on a date with a guy who seems to be everything you’ve ever wanted. He also loves niche wines from Bosnia! Who doesn’t put A Goofy Movie on the top of their favorite films list? And he agrees with everything you say? He’s perfect.

Now, try to picture yourself a few dates in with this perfect specimen of a man and he’s starting to get comfortable with you, so he lets his guard down and admits the truth. He hates niche wine from Bosnia – in fact, he ‘s pretty sure he hates wine (DUMP HIM NOW! Just kidding. Keep reading.) and has never even seen A Goofy Movie. The list of little white lies goes on. But he really liked you, and wanted you to like him, so are you still into him?

Well, you wouldn’t know. You liked the guy who shares all of your preferences and tastes. Are you disappointed now? Yeah, you probably are. So don’t you dare do that either.

What fun is a date if you’re not being your fine self? If you want to layer on the puns, do it! Don’t drink a Cosmo with a pinky up if all you really want is a Brooklyn Lager. You being you is the key that opens the door for banter, debates, and trying something new.

Introduce him to niche wines from Bosnia and he’ll teach you all about his favorite aperitifs. Sure, he hasn’t seen A Goofy Movie, but turns out you both like Pixar films – is Up or Walle the biggest tearjerker (answer: Up, duh)? Neither of you have taken a pickle back shot before? Someone grab the bartender, stat.

So before I lose you with my never-ending blabbering of how much more fun life is when you are true to yourself, I’m going to wrap it up and leave you with these parting words:

Girl, go on with your bad self.