How to turn a fling into long-term romance

You met a guy and took him home and, well, you know… one thing led to another. No biggie. It’s just a fling. Every single woman needs to let loose once in a while, and if it comes from a fling or a one-time thing, that’s your choice. But if you’re starting to think this fling could be the real thing, that’s when it starts to get sticky. It’s a tough transition from a fling to a long-term romance because you led with sex, but it can happen. Here are my tips.

Contact info

I know this one is a big, fat duh! But there’s no way you can get in touch with that one night stand if you don’t have his number. Googling “Blond guy in plaid shirt who goes to bars” isn’t going to get you far. So as he’s hopping into his pants in the a.m., don’t wait for him to ask for your number. The playing hard to get jig is up after the night you had. Go ahead and get it, girl! All you can do is try.

Reach out

All right, you have the contact info, so use it. I know, this goes against all of my “men want to hunt, so let them” rules. But, honey, you’ve already broken so many of my rules, we’re not worrying about that now. Send a text with a quick mention of an inside joke from the short time you spent together and ask a question so he has to respond. Don’t let any of your messages get sexual or reference how hung-over you are. Try to keep it classy, sister.  Avoid stage five clinger texts too. Find the in-between.

Start a relationship

OK, so now we’re at the point where my rules start to apply. Hopefully your text started some banter back and forth that resulted in him asking to hang again. When this happens, press restart and begin your whole interaction again. I don’t mean pretend like you’ve never met him when you see him on the date. But act like this is a first date with none of your sexual history. Let him pay, be on your best manners and do not, I repeat — do not, sleep with him on this date.

Don’t be a party girl

I’m guessing that when you first met him, you were out at a bar. How’d I know? Well, not that many flings start in a library. His initial impression of you was probably that you’re a party girl. And here’s the truth — no one seriously dates a party girl. If you want this to turn serious, don’t be a party girl. Be a you girl. Stay sober (or sober-ish — two drinks max), be interesting and be interested in him. That shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Play a little hard to get

I know, he’s already gotten you, so why play games? Well, because you started this relationship over, remember? And that thing about men wanting to hunt I said to ignore above? Well, stop ignoring it. Now that you’ve reset this relationship, it’s time to abide by relationship rules. He wants to work for a prize, so give him a little chase after the first few dates.

Once you’ve gotten past that first handful of dates, you’re back on track to long-term love. Congrats, girlfling! You’re now girlfriend material.

If he shows interest and sticks around after the relationship reset, you might have a keeper. If he doesn’t catch on, be honest with yourself and recognize when to call it quits.