Patti's Blog

“Help! I need to de-stress & forget about my ex!”

Forget about an ex!Breaking up is hard to do; I’ve gone through it myself. Get past the breakup and the stress by deleting his phone number and stop following him on social networks. Even if he’s busted up about the end of your relationship, chances are he’s going to post about his boys’ nights on Facebook. Nobody likes an ending, especially the death of hopes and dreams of forever. After heartbreak, you need to regroup. Purging him from your life sets the motion to move on.

Dating detox

There’s no need to jump right back into dating life. Meditate, pray or whatever you do to regroup and collect your thoughts. Buy a self-help book. Deal with any issues you may have. Reflect. Get advice from mom and talk to your friends. You need to do this to get yourself ready for love again.

Only after you clear your head and reassess your needs and wants should you get back into the dating scene. Men can spot clutter in a woman and any new prospects will run the other way if they pick up on it. A dating detox will clear you out.

What do you want next?

Take some time to think about what you truly want in your next relationship. The vibrations you put out will determine what types of men you meet as you ease into dating again. It’s important to make sure you’re putting out the right signals as a single.

Join an exercise class and start to workout. Endorphins kick in and make you feel good. Feeling good will make you feel sexier and more confident — and that’s going to make you feel more desirable to yourself. Men will pick up on that.

Spend a little on a shopping spree — a hot dress, great pair of jeans or a sexy top. Pick something that plays up a part of your body that you like. Get a haircut or have a spa day — whatever it is that makes you feel beautiful. Then go to happy hour and bring along something to keep yourself busy. Just make sure it’s gender neutral. Smile at the man you notice and, if he’s interested, he’ll come talk to you or buy you a drink.

Lastly, it’s okay to sleep with somebody else you’re attracted to. It doesn’t have to be intercourse. Go on a date, make out with him. Let yourself get a little juicy goosey. A new man on your mind will put the old one out.

Read more: My assistant Patia blogs about being Single in the City >