As a woman you probably have guys approaching you all the time, but how many of them actually interest you?
I mean, some are just plain creepy right?
How about that guy that just makes you feel weird when you first talk to him, but for some weird reason you have him your number anyway thinking he’d never have the guts to call you. You just wanted to get rid of him so you gave him your number so you could escape.
Trouble is, Mr. Creepy is also quite confident and calls you. He doesn’t just call you once either. Nope, he calls about ten times!
It’s a bit like what happened to this lady that emailed me the other day…
I ran into a man the other day.
He was very sweet but I just wasn’t attracted to him. I’m not sure why but I gave him my number anyway.
He called last night and although we get on quite well, I only see him as a friend.
I went for a drink with him, and then for dinner.
I feel bad because I think he believes he has a chance with me and I don’t know how to tell him how I feel. I don’t want to upset him but either way he’s going to be hurt. What do I say to him?”
If you really don’t want to hurt a man, you need to be honest with him upfront. Don’t lead him on by giving him mixed signals.
See, men get very excited when a woman gives us a phone number. Most guys face rejection most the time so when they get a number they think they’ve won the lottery!
When you give a guy your number, he now has expectations (which are probably inflated) that he’s going to date you, and maybe even make you his long-term girlfriend. You made a few mistakes with this man of yours. You spoke to him on the phone. You went for a drink and dinner, but you didn’t tell him how you felt. He’s thinking things are going great and that he has a chance with you.
I understand you didn’t say anything because you didn’t want to hurt him, but by leading him on you’re going to hurt him more. Here’s what you should do instead…
It’s easier for him to cope with rejection without knowing who you are.
If you’re not attracted to a man tell him no when he asks for your number. He’ll deal with the rejection there and then. He doesn’t know anything about you. He’s not spoken to you. He hasn’t connected with you yet. You’re nothing but a fantasy. It’s easier for him to cope with rejection without knowing who you are.
The more he gets to know you, and the more time he spends with you, the more it’s going to hurt him when you tell him the truth. If he really likes you, it could actually do him long-term damage. Instead of wasting his time, let him go and meet someone who is into him.
Ladies if you want to do the right thing, it’s best to let men down right away rather than get our hopes up.
Learned something today?
Want to understand men even better?
Then check out my video “How To Speak Man”