It’s been a while since I’ve been a newbie in a relationship, but I still think back on those early days of dating David a lot. So much excitement! So much romance! So many annoying questions! I don’t know what it is about new relationships, but they definitely turn on the annoying faucet when it comes to comments from friends and family. Instead of just being happy for you and supportive, everyone had to throw in their two cents. Here are my top 9 things people in new relationships never want to hear.
Is s/he the one?
We’ve been dating for three weeks! Give me a second to breathe here!
Are you thinking of babies yet?
Yeah. I’m thinking really hard about NOT having them with this person I just started dating. I literally just told them my middle name! It’s not the right time to spawn.
Have you said I love you yet?
Sheesh. What’s with the obsession about the milestone markers of my relationship? I’m just letting it unfold in a natural way. Why can’t you?
Have you finally stopped dating losers?
Well, I hope so! I certainly don’t think this person is a loser. Do you? Wait, do you? You’d tell me if you did, right?
Have you heard from your ex recently?
Ugh. I’m finally moving on and haven’t thought about my ex for a full minute and you bring them up? Why? Now all I can do is think about my ex!
Then I guess it’s fine to tell you that your ex is engaged.
Wait, what? How long have you known this? Days? Weeks? Months? Years? Were they engaged when we were dating? I mean, that’s impossible. But still, tell me every single detail and if you leave one thing out I will kill you.
S/he isn’t as ____ as your ex
Can we all just pretend my ex didn’t happen and stop comparing this newbie to my ex. But seriously, do you have any gossip on my ex? Have they gotten fat? Please say they got fat! That would be the best thing that could ever happen to me. I mean, aside from this new person, whom I’m really excited about and could be in love with.
S/he is so not your usual type
Well, my usual type doesn’t last. Just trying to switch it up.
I’m pretty sure my friend dated him/her. Want me to find out some gossip?
No! I want to like this person and the last person I want to hear from is their ex. But, if you run into my ex, tell them that I’m looking hotter and thinner than ever. And I’m dating someone way hotter and thinner than them, k?
What did I miss? What’s the most annoying thing someone said to you when you were in a brand new relationship?