You did it! You met your boo’s family for the first time. You did the awkward dinner, got grilled during an interrogation, heard the boring stories and survived! Congrats! There’s a lot of relief in making it through the first meeting, so enjoy it. But, if you’re anything like me, that calm doesn’t last for long. It’s immediately pushed out the way by my desire for validation. Basically, all that goes through my head after an important meet-the-family moment is “Did they like me? Did they? Did they?” It’s a little needy, I know. But, I’m just being honest, folks. I like a little (honestly, more like a lot of) reinforcement and I’m guessing you do too. So, here’s how to know if meeting your boo’s family actually went well.
If the family really liked meeting you, they’ll want to see you again and they won’t be shy about it. When you’re the newbie to the group, the members of the group are the ones who need to be proactive with you to make you feel included. So, if they’re enjoying their time with you, the family will invite you to their next family event and likely talk about it during the first meeting with you. If that didn’t happen, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re not into you dating their son/daughter/brother/sister. It could mean that they’re not that well versed in social graces or they don’t hang out as a group frequently. Also, they may be just as nervous as you are and are so focused on the current meeting that they can’t think about next meetings. So, I don’t want you to feel crushed if there was no talk of seeing each other again. But, if there was, that’s a very good sign! Pat yourself on the back.
Your new boo is the best barometer you’ve got to tell how well it all went. If they don’t come right out and tell you, that doesn’t have to mean it didn’t go well. It could just mean that your boo isn’t as thirsty for feedback as you are…and I am. Not everyone needs the level of validation I do, so a boyfriend of mine might not be as quick to give it to me as I want. I’ve learned that lesson the hard way a few times. So, I’m telling you in hopes that you don’t take no feedback to mean a bad thing. If your boo isn’t spilling the beans of their own volition, don’t be afraid to ask. If the family didn’t say anything specific about the meeting, ask your boo if they thought it went well compared to previous meet-the-parent moments. You’ll hopefully get some good feedback.
You feel it
Alright, here’s the truth. You probably already know if the meeting actually went well. You’re a fully-grown adult who’s met a lot of people and you have a good sense of what’s a good meeting and what’s less than good. Check in with yourself and ask how it really went. Don’t beat yourself up over a small awkward moment like going in for a hug when the dad wanted a handshake or something silly like that. Think of the vibe of the meal or event you all shared together and especially focus on the goodbyes. I always feel like a goodbye is a good indicator of how people feel about your time together. If you feel good about them, chances are that they feel good about you! So, don’t sweat getting all the details of the feedback. (Easier said than done, I know.)
Hope you use these bullet points to realize that the meeting went really well. Your boo’s family is a really important element of your relationship, like it or not. So, if the first meeting didn’t go well, it’s worth figuring out next steps to make future meetings more pleasant for everyone!