I was at the mall today and they were playing Christmas music! I know it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but that’s the official start of Christmas season for me! (Yes, I let mall soundtracks mark important annual events for me. So, what?) The weather is chilly, the mood is happy and anyone in a new relationship is stressy! (And yeah, “stressy” is totally a word.) Anyone in a relationship that’s less than a year old around the holidays is definitely asking themselves what they should be doing as a couple for the holidays and getting really worked up about it. Well, fear not. I’m here to help! Assuming you want to head to your boo’s house for a holiday meal, I’ll show how you can make it happen.
Be sure you’re serious
Before you start discussing spending the holidays together, do a gut check with yourself. Is this a guy you can see yourself spending serious time with? Do you see a future together? I’m not saying he has to be “the one” before you spend the holidays with his family, but it certainly can’t be a few month fling. Meeting the family is a big deal and getting invited into a family holiday celebration is an even bigger deal. Only take the plunge if you see this as the first of many holiday seasons you’ll be spending together.
Meet his family first
A great way to secure an invite home is to have his parents encourage him to bring you home. And that’s not going to happen unless they get to know you first. If it’s at all possible, try to meet his folks as early in the holiday season as possible. It will give you a low-pressure opportunity to get to know them and for them to get to know you. And once they get to know and love you, extending that Christmas dinner invite will be much more likely.
Talk to him
Broken record time! I’m going to talk about communication again. Your man isn’t a psychic, so it doesn’t make sense to think that he’d know you want to spend the holidays with his family. (Let’s be honest. I don’t think anyone thinks of their family holiday celebrations as a desirable destination for outsiders. So this probably isn’t top of mind for him.) And dropping hints is just passive aggressive and, with most clueless men, totally ineffective. Be upfront and honest about wanting to take the big relationship step of spending the holidays together and then be open to his reaction.
Happy holiday season kick off, my loves! If you have any holiday questions for me, tweet them to me with the #AskPatti hashtag and I could answer them sometime in the next few weeks!