When texting becomes toxic

Texting is an integral part of any relationship’s communication these days. Anyone who says differently is probably your grandma. Or actually, your great grandma. Avoiding texting is like avoiding kissing to some. But texting can also have a nasty side. That’s right. Texting can become toxic. Here’s how to tell when your texting relationship has been contaminated.

When you’ve never heard his voice on the phone

Anyone who’s started a relationship recently knows that this is a very real risk. If you’ve never heard your guy’s voice on the phone and you’ve been together for more than three months, something’s up. Text is great for quick communication, short jokes and flirty little messages, but it doesn’t replace actually talking on the phone. Or worse, seeing each other. So if your guy is limiting all of your communication to text or texting you back when you call him, something toxic could be up.

When you’re sending dirty pics you don’t want anyone to see

Sexting, which is just sexy texting, can be really fun. It’s a great way to keep things feisty and flirty when you’re not there to actually grab his butt. But beware. Sexting has a very dark side. All it takes is one phone left in the back of a cab or one little security breach, and your sexy messages can be all over everywhere you don’t want them to be. So keep the sexting PG-13 and picture free, and you should be fine.

When you’re having serious relationship talks

Again, texting is a great form of communication for some things. But it’s definitely not the form of communication you should use when you’re having serious conversations, especially serious conversations about your relationship. Those talks should happen in person, or at the very least on the phone. Text messages can be so easily misconstrued, and you wouldn’t want one little emoticon to dictate the future of your relationship with a great guy, would you? As soon as chitchat turns to serious conversation, stop tapping out messages and start calling.

When you’re using it as a tracking device

Because texting makes it so easy to be in touch all of the time, it’s easy to use it as a weird stalking device. If he hasn’t written back in an hour on a Monday, he must be in a meeting. If it’s two hours on a Sunday afternoon, maybe he’s at the gym. If it’s Saturday night and he hasn’t written back within five minutes, HE MUST BE MAKING OUT WITH A SKANK! I mean, come on. We’ve all been there, right? When it gets to that level, remind yourself what texting was actually meant for — communication, and what it wasn’t — surveillance.