Patti's Blog

What to do if stress is ruining your relationship

nothappyAre you a human over the age of 11? Then I’m assuming you’re familiar with the concept of being stressed out. It happens to everyone. I’ve been getting into meditation and one of my meditation teachers even admitted that she gets stressed out every now and then. If it happens to someone who “ohms” for a living, then it’s definitely happening to you. And we know that stress isn’t good for us. It can make your skin icky, disrupt your sleep, cause weight gain, affect your blood pressure and on and on until infinity. Stress is bad for you. We get that. What we don’t always realize is that stress can be bad for your relationship. If you think stress is ruining your relationship, here’s how to deal.

Acknowledge the problem
You can already check this one off your list because you clicked into this post. If you accidentally found your way here, or maybe got sent this post, you might still need to do some doing on this. Basically, think about the happiest times in your relationship. Were you stressed then? Probably not. Think about your relationship now. Is it part of those happiest times? If not, are you stressed? Those two things could be related! Admit there’s a problem and get to fixing it!

Talk about it
You know I’m all about communication and this is no different. Find a quiet time to sit your boo down and explain what you’re feeling and how you think it’s impacting the relationship. It doesn’t matter exactly what you say or how you say it. What’s important is that you don’t keep this inside. That will only add to your stress and snowball into even bigger relationship problems. Talk about the specifics of your stress. Don’t judge yourself or his reaction. Just be real and open. Trust me, it will relieve some of the stress.

Manage the stress
Alright, now it’s time to actually do something. Make lists to get organize. Create a plan to finish off the tasks that are causing you anxiety. Let him help you. Find an online meditation program. Or go see a therapist. Basically, take care of the stress. I’m not saying that you’re never going to be stressed again or that you’re suddenly going to feel no stress. Just do whatever it takes to get you back to being you…and to stop being you on stress. Get it?

Be positive with your boo
None of this is going to be easy. So, be super hands on with positive reinforcement with your man. Verbally appreciate every great thing he does for you and make sure he knows that you think he’s the best, even when you’re not at your best. Little gestures like this will make the tough parts of this feel like what they are—tough parts—and not like a whole relationship that’s suddenly turned tough.

Breathe in. Breathe out. You, and your relationship, are going to get through this. It’s just going to take a little work! Good luck, my loves!

Photo credit: AIM Neutron (On a break) / CC BY