Patti's Blog

Ways To Tell He’s The One On The Third Date

Couple cheers glasses to celebrate third dateI know what you see of my clients and me on the show is prep for the first date and the first date itself, but I’m actually very involved with my clients throughout the entire beginning phase of their courtship—on both the millionaire and the match’s sides. Basically, until the couple decides to be monogamous, I’m there. Once they’ve committed, I take a step back and let their love blossom unassisted.

One of the many things I’ve noticed is that date three is probably the most telling date of an entire relationship. After a third date, all I have to do is ask my clients a few questions and I’ll know right away if this relationship is destined for love or a quick fizzle. Here are the questions for you to ask yourself:


Do you know about his family?

I know this sounds kinda arbitrary, but it’s real. If you two haven’t talked in detail about your families—like siblings, grandparents, how close the family is, etc.—then I’m sorry to say that it’s not going to work out long term. Literally, every single couple that gets through three dates without digging into family information breaks up before three months. I’m not saying that you need to force the topic and talk about it in a fake way on date three. All I’m saying is that if it doesn’t come up organically within three dates, you might want reconsider before investing emotionally in this dude.


Are you holding yourself back physically?

Three dates is way too early to be monogamous, so you won’t be having sex with the guy yet. But, you should want to. You should be holding yourself back from inviting the guy up at the end of date three. If you’re not feeling incredibly attracted to the guy after hanging out with him three times, then he’s not your match. There needs to be some real initial sexual attraction for a relationship to work and if you’re not into him after three dates, you never will be.


Do you think he’s going to call or do you know he’s going to call?

Date three is when you should have a sense of how into you the guy is. Actually, more than a sense. You should know. If you’re leaving the third date crossing your fingers that he’ll get in touch again, then he’s not your guy. When he’s the real deal, you’ll be leaving the third date with the fourth date already planned and you know—not think, not hope, KNOW—that he’ll follow up and confirm.


Hope that’s helpful to everyone who’s heading out on or just got back from their third date! Let me know if you agree with my third date analysis in the comments!