The Men's Room - Love and Relationship Advice From a Man For Women

The Only Two Words You Need to Succeed at Dating

This is going to be a really simple explanation of two words that we have learned since we were little kids.

Yes and no.

See, dating doesn’t need to be as confusing as all of you seem to make it on a regular basis.

You make it seem like there’s a representative that literally cons you into a relationship and then all of a sudden, all these things magically appear like a leprechaun out of a Lucky Charms cereal box.

I’m going to challenge that ridiculous way of thinking with a very simple term.

Nobody conned you.

Nobody bullshitted you.

You just chose to ignore the things that you were too afraid of saying yes or no to.

If somebody is who they are, you can basically see it right away. It really is just a simple matter of yes or no.

A friend of mine is dating a woman.

She has no kids, he has mega-kids.

She’s not happy about him having kids.

Well, then why did she choose to be with him in the first place?

It’s really just a yes or a no.

But the problem is that too many people don’t practice abundance when it comes down to dating.

They’re clinging on to hope.

They hope for a relationship, but they don’t believe they’re going to have one.

They don’t believe that their high vibrational equal even exists out there. They’ll take the scraps that are fed to them, literally taking scraps in love.

I look at somebody immediately and it’s an instant yes or no.

I look at their life.

They’re a single mom, they’ve got some kids.

I look at it real simply.

I get involved in a relationship with them. Eventually, I am going to live with them. Eventually, their children will be part of my life. Eventually, I will be a step-father and an influence in their life.

Eventually, my daughter will have either brothers or sisters that she will be able to hang out with.

I look at it that way. I look at the facts that are presented to me and I make a decision: either yes or no.

I also look at it from a financial standpoint.

How many kids do they have? How many bedrooms are they going to need when we merge our lives together? Am I comfortable with that?

The answer is either a very simple yes or no.

What if somebody has majority of custody?

I look at that as well. I think to myself, how much time are we going to have alone? Because really, it’s going to be about having an instant family.

Because it’s going to be hard to see that person, or it’s going to be more of a challenge to see that person. So, you’re going to want to get to the place where you can actually be together with her and her kids so you can see her.

It’s a simple matter of a yes… or a no.

I look at someone’s past, what’s happened to them. Their stories, where they are, what their family is like, what their background is.

I look at everything. It really is a simple yes or no.

I look at their body type,I look at who they are physically. It’s a yes or a no on all levels, from spiritually, to emotionally, to the children they have, to everything. It’s either yes or no.

There’s no maybe.

I look at the facts as they’re presented to me.

Do they have a dog? Do they have a cat?

Do they have gerbils.

Do they like to swing from trees in the middle of the night?

You see what’s being presented to you. We’re not illusions, like we always make ourselves out to be.

People are who they are. It really is just a simple yes or no.

Do they make money, do they not make money? Will I be responsible for paying more of the bills? Everything is very apparent right from the get-go. Do they work a lot? What is their schedule like?

It really is just a simple yes or no. People aren’t going to change. Their situations aren’t going to change.

The power of the yes or no is that you’re accepting people right from the get-go.

You look at their situation, and you say to yourself, I met somebody really amazing. This is the shit they’re bringing into this relationship. I’m either in or not.

The shit is not going to go away.

The crazy ex, the children, all part of it. As we get older, this is what comes into our lives.

You don’t need to struggle or stress about it at all. You just need to be honest with yourself right from the get-go.

Yes or no. If it’s a yes, go in with both feet and enjoy the amazing yes that you’ve decided on.